joyful moments

one day shy of 19 weeks

i am celebrating a bit of a milestone.
tomorrow i will be 19 weeks pregnant.
i have been feeling my little one moving inside me.
i have been noticing the growth of my belly.
yesterday a friend of mine said to me, "you are  just about halfway baked."
it made me laugh.

since discovering i was pregnant i have been living moment by moment.
many of these moments i have felt paralyzed with fear thinking something was wrong, or would go wrong.
i was also silent for many of these moments,
allowing the tears to fall,
yet afraid to fully embrace this pregnancy as a way to protect myself.

i think i was also protecting the hearts of others,
as someone who knows the heartbreak of struggling with pregnancy and loss first hand and not forgetting what that feels like.
perhaps even feeling a little guilty while simultaneously grateful.
a strange cocktail of emotion.
staying silent seemed easier somehow.

but then i had to ask myself,
when my child arrives do i want to tell them how each moment anticipating their arrival was celebrated,
or how mommy was a nervous wreck her entire pregnancy.

i fully understand i have no control over the outcome of anything in life,
but i can choose hope.
because of this i notice more of my moments have been filled with celebration.
each tiny kick is a reason for me to dance.
each day that passes is one day closer to meeting our little one.
each week that passes helps me to breathe a little easier and more deeply.

the moments of anxiety are still there,
i doubt they can ever leave,
but i am finding that more of my moments are about joy and celebration,
plus a healthy dose of gratitude,
and that makes me dance.

Comments

[Silvia]

You look absolutely gorgeous!!!

the moments of anxiety are still there,i doubt they can ever leave,but i am finding that more of my moments are about joy and celebration,and that makes me dance.

I think this is true in general too. Let's just all create more moments of joy and celebration and dance!

Have a great weekend! xOx

[Andrea D]

Schmoops! I am soooo glad you decided to post your baby bump picture. You are amazing and deserve to celebrate each and every moment. Its ok to be scared but remember, in general, the more relaxed you are, the more relaxed and chill your baby will be. You are awesome!!

[daisies]

i just got up and did a happy dance, there was even some jumping and flinging of arms and a whole lot of twirling, and oh can i twirl ~ dizzy now :) i am so glad you are celebrating :) and oh oh oh do you look beautiful, your baby bump is gorgeous, i wish i could reach through the screen!!

an arist/musician/actor/acupunctuist friend of mine gave me the best advice that she had gotten from her chinese mentor. everyday, surround yourself with beauty and really notice it, all that beauty will be passed on to your child. her sweet girl is amazingly lovely, healthy and full of so much beauty. bit smooches darling, big hug smooches. xoxoxox

[kristen]

you are so gorgeous, look at you and your babe!! thank you for sharing - you are sensitive and generous and lovely.

[Maddie]

look how gorgeous you look!

and your banner ~ i heart your banner!!!!

(warmest hugs sweetie)

[Athena714]

HOLY SHIT LOOK AT YOU!!!!! That is SO COOL!!! I am so thrilled for you, you look absolutely gorgeous. Glowing. Healthy. Happy. Amazing!!

[lizabean]

Lovely, belly, lovely momma!

I can very much relate to those mixed emotions. And this, this is so very true:
"but then i had to ask myself,
when my child arrives do i want to tell them how each moment anticipating their arrival was celebrated,
or how mommy was a nervous wreck her entire pregnancy."

Thanks for the reminder :)

[Celine]

Yes you are a lovely mama... pregancy suits you very well ... wow 19 weeks!!!! Those moments are amazing! and yes you should celebrate every moment of your pregancy!

[Tina]

Oh, I love seeing your belly!! You look so wonderful!!

I am glad that you are celebrating more. :)

[PixieDust]

Oh, I so want to hug your gorgeous tummy!!! Yes, celebrate every second, soak it all in, and feel blessed and loved.

(((HUGS)))!!!

Love,
Me

[boho girl]

wow...you're a sexy preggie.

hearing this fills my love cup.
so happy for you two.
you so deserve this joyful bliss.

now lets see that Kapha tee!

; )

xoxo

[jen gray]

beautiful .....

[Tracy]

You look incredible! I think you've definitely passed the baby bump stage. Hurray!
Love you,
Tracy

[Frida]

the complex feelings of anxiety, fear, joy, a little guit - they are so easy to understand and show what a sensitive soul you are. but i am also very happy to read that you feel free to embrace the joy of this wonderful journey and thanks for sharing your gorgeous sexy baby bump - and the sexy smile peeking into the photo as well.

[Melissa]

I get such an overwhelming sense of Universal joy and love everytime I read about you and your baby-bean. Many, many blessings to you!

[patricia]

that belly is fabulous! and somehow i have a feeling one of those longing mamas (cuz she is one in her heart already) is gonna be hot on your heels soon on this baby trip...

[Jessica]

you look so beautiful...

[Dane Stitts]

"Each tiny kick is a reason for me to dance" What a wonderful thought. I envy you and all mothers going through pregnancy and mothernurturing. It is something I am trying to develop within myself. I also like your post about teaching English and the department meetings. I have been doing it for 30 years and nothing seems to change. The students are wonderfully alive, and the meetings numb the brain. Thanks for sharing.
Dane

[ceanandjen]

You look amazing and you sound amazing....keep on dancing and celebrating gorgeous you. Your shift in perspective is such a warm one and I hope that it brings you and that beautiful baby (and lovely hubby too) peace as you continue on this journey towards meeting your angel baby.

love to you.xoxoxoxo

[cayden]

You look Mah~velous!!

[pink sky]

19 looks lovely on you! i too am on a place of choosing hope. just lovely.

[nicole]

YES to choosing hope! so happy for you. all best-

[bella]

You are one hot mama!
Love to you as you continue to take this one moment at a time, releasing and opening and letting yourself fall in love.

[Megan]

you are so cute! I can see the happiness! Better be glad you live so far, I have a nasty habit of rubbing preggy bellies! (I AM a massage therapist you know, its what I do)
:)

[sueberry]

WOW -- check out that belly!!! Are you sure you are not having twins?? ;)

You look fantastic & of course, I am thrilled beyond words for you & Jimmy both. ENJOY! XOXOXO

[boho girl]

hey doll.
just wanted to let you know that i come to look at this picture each day because it is so fricken adorable of you.

it also has lots of baby magic mojo for me at this time of the month.

not sure what Sueberry means but your belly looks absolutely perfect for where you are at with this pregnancy.

i know women are tender about their bodies at this time in their life and i have to tell you...that you are gorgeous and lovely and sexy and perfect.

love you,
denise

[sueberry]

Just so all the world knows, I was NOT saying Stacie looked bad in any way, shape or form in her lovely photo... So, for those out there that got that message, including Stacie, I totally apologize! I am just HAPPY to see the pregnancy progressing, that's all.....and to see her in person, well, she looks so tiny, so the photo surprised me a bit, but only in a GOOD way. SORRY to all!
XOXO

[michelle]

the best part of this pic...other than the sweet belly...is that smile on your face...it made me break a smile...

[d.]

Clearly I must still be dealing with residual pregnancy hormones because this post made me cry too!! You look absolutely stunningly beautiful!! I wish I had looked half that good during my pregnancy!!

Hope looks good on you sweetie!! Every day that we get up I think we choose hope over complacency or apathy. Staying hopeful and making the effort each day is by far harder and gutsier than throwing in the towel.

I am giddy with happiness and excitement that you are feeling that little life inside you kick and move. It's such a rush.

I only regret that I haven't been able to see you during this most precious time and bask in your pregnant glory!! I don't think "glowing" does you justice; I think we're going to have to come up with a different word!! How about luminescent? :)

Love you!!

[Minerva Jane]

wow--that's so incredibly beautiful.

I'm so glad you're celebrating! And yes: choose hope, choose hope.

[Jessamyn]

oh.my! beautiful belly. beautiful you!
i visit your blog every so often and find such strength and comfort here!
what a healthy, beautiful, hope-giving belly.
completely beautiful.

[amanda]

oooooh you look so beautiful....

such a perfect belly!!!

i am celebrating for you too:)

love

[Kirsten Michelle]

sweetie,
i've visited this photo so many times in the past few days...
trying to find the perfect words to describe how happy i am for you!!!
but really this picture of your gorgeous smile and beautiful belly pretty much says it all ;-)
love to you and the little butterbean,
xo

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