thank you

denise is just a rockstar with the photos

when i first started this blog i really had no agenda or direction. i wasn't trying to change the world or inspire anyone, i just wanted to write. i figured the only people who would ever see this space were some friends and family who i had mentioned it to.

when life took a few unexpected turns on me, i changed, and therefore my writing changed as well. i found i could no longer stay on the surface and needed to show my vulnerability as a way to begin the healing process.

during this time a strange thing happened, people i didn't know were finding my blog and commenting on it. sure, i knew other blogs i read had commenter's, i was even commenting, but all i could think was, who would want to comment on mine?

a blogger i hugely admire told me early on to write what i was most passionate about and my audience would find me. i think what happened is i ended up finding what i was most passionate about and finding others.

i soon noticed other women, many of whom are bloggers themselves, reached out to share their own stories of loss ~  especially in the areas of infertility, miscarriage as well as the babies they now held. this was so comforting to me ~ to know i wasn't alone and we could find comfort with each other sharing those raw emotions of loss that some others simply couldn't understand.

some of these connections went deep. i have been blessed to connect with other women through email, on the phone, through thoughtful care packages and have even met a couple of these beauties face to face which of course just helps to solidify the bond that is already there. one of these blogging beauties even became my very favorite catering client.

blogging has changed me in many ways. i find myself continuously inspired by the poetic blogs of others. i am much less fearful of my own talents. i am much more open to connecting with others on a spiritual/soulful level because of this amazing, supportive, loving community. i know many of us are strangers, but blogging does help us to know each other in certain ways.

so, to you, i say thank you.

thank you being so willing to share your stories, heartbreaks, advice and celebrations with me. thank you for visiting me and leaving a comment ~ it truly makes my day. thank you for the emails, cards, love, gifts and friendship (you know who you are) thank you to those of you with etsy stores so that i may be consistently inspired by your creativity.

i know i wouldn't be sitting in the same headspace i am today had those twists and turns not have taken place. sometimes our biggest dreams don't come wrapped up in the package we thought they would, but eventually they do come.

is this to say that i am thankful for losing two pregnancies? not at all. i will never understand the whys behind what took place and i suppose there will always be hurt there, but i am thankful for recognizing the mixed blessings that come with heartbreak and understanding what it truly means to be in the moment. i am thankful i have become even more compassionate of others through these life lessons and more willing to follow my dreams with less fear attached. and i am truly thankful for my great big belly i am currently rocking.

a gorgeous mermaid i met through blogging just wrote a post about my story that i am truly touched by. she said some really nice things about me, and while i think she is giving me way too much credit, i am genuinely touched by her incredible gesture and wish to share it here.

you see, she creates these magical rocks that she collects by the sea and paints beautiful, uplifting, dreamy words on them and then places them all over for all the world to behold. her heart is beyond huge. i would love to see her start a children's workshop where she teaches kids how to collect and paint beach rocks and sprinkle magic into the world at such a tender age.

she is currently asking for one word wishes for our little girl. i can't think of a more poignant and heartfelt way for those who know my story, whether i know you or not, to be a part of this little girl's life.

she said i deserved a happy ending, the truth is we all do which is what hope is all about.
so please, visit my magical friend and if you are so inclined leave a one word wish for you and for me.
this is what makes community so amazingly powerful.

thank you sweet mccabe
thank you too

Comments

[Penny]

A beautiful posting and it touches on something I wrote last night about my reasons for starting a blog. I have been completely inspired by the tribe of friendship I have seen discovered through the blogging community. Your friendship with Boho Girl in particular has made me put my own tribal call out there. Thank you for sharing and, as a result, inspiring. xx ps. those photos Denise took of you are quite breathtaking.

[patricia]

that pic of you is gorgeous...the color, the beads, the light...one of those magical, miracle sort of photos...

[kristen]

i'm so excited for you honey, it was my pleasure to leave a wish for you and your baby girl. xo

[darlene]

i adore that photo of you, you look so incredibly at peace ... it was fun to leave a wish with mccabe :) xo

[sueberry]

GORGEOUS photo, yet again!! XOXO

[mccabe]

this was sooo beautifully written, schmoops, and quite poignant.
you contribute SO MUCH to the blogging community,
(and me)
it is lovely to see all these kindreds shower you with love.

xxoo

[PixieDust]

Thank you many times over for sharing YOU with us... thank you for the kind words you have sprinkled here and there...

(((HUGS))) and love to you,
Love,
Me

[Amy]

I just had to write...thank you for your words. I'm not sure if you remember me or not but I wrote to you last summer about my miscarriage because I felt a connection to you and how your shared your experience. You wrote back to me with words of wisdom. Like you, I am now pregnant again...with a girl also! I'm due June 3rd. Thanks for sharing your journey. :) Wishing you and your beautiful family all the best!

[michelle]

you are so gorgeous...inside and out...

[Sarah]

I, like many others it seems, also wrote to you months ago about my experience with miscarriage. Your story and insight brought me much comfort and light in a very dark period of my life, so for that I am extraordinarily grateful. Your words today ring so true - about how strange it is that such a painful experience and loss can bring so many unexpected blessings over time. Reading about your journey and your friends like Mccabe has inspired me to embark on my own creative journeys. What began as a search for healing and peace has become this life-changing transformation (something that is all at once surprising, exciting, terrifying - at least for me, the chronic planner that always thought I had my career, etc all planned out). So please - keep doing what you're doing, and don't underestimate the profound effects you inspire in many lives out here. Wishing you lots of luck & happiness as the arrival of your little one draws near.

[Celine]

I love coming to your blog and I enjoy reading it. On my " Favorite blogs list" your blog is my # 1, this is the one I opened first and read first with my cup of tea( and my list is long about 30!). I love the georgeous pictures, your writting. There is a unique sense of peace and wisdom that I find only when reading your blog. I also love your passion for life and now since you have been sharing your pictures while pregnant I never seen a such radiant beauty.
Happy Valentine's day to you!

[bee]

i love this photo...it was my pleasure to leave a word for your & jimmy's wee girl. my goddess, i don't think i could be more excited about this arrival...i can't wait to meet her through pictures, too.

[Thea]

Your face and words bring me so much joy. You are just like one of these gorgeous rocks in my life. A special gentle gorgeous reminder of the good things.

I thank you back. For being there-for writing-for connecting-for supporting.

You are divine.

I love you
XO

[boho girl]

whose that stunning woman in the photo?
YOU.

i am grateful for you and your friendship...always.

ps. i heart nigella.

[Jennifer]

I found you through the wonderful Mccabe and I would just like to wish you well on your journey. Although I don't know your whole "hi"story I am very excited to see what your future holds for you. Best wishes for your new journey. I will be checking back to see how it unfolds.

[megg]

hello beautiful you! I have already been there and wished your wee one (and you!) 'wings.' Every other possible blessing is there already, too!!!

I've only 'met' you recently but I have been so touched by you. You inspire me to let more of myself into my writing, not just what I think I should write. I wanted to wish your wee one 'beauty' but with a mama like you, she will already be blessed with an abundance of it!

Love to you!!!!

xo

[Toni]

*Love to you*

[Sarah Farmer Earll]

my word for little Schmoopy: UNLESS

it's a reminder to never settle for the easy or the obvious.. to keep searching for the alternative... to not freak out on the "ifs" but to focus on the possible.

sfe

[jenica]

you are loved. as each of us take a step into vulnerability it helps to know that there are others, like you, who are also stepping forward. one step at a time we overcome our fears, our trials, our weaknesses. one step at a time we grow into the people we are destined to become. and it's people like you, that help each of us to feel a little safer through the process.

you truly are beautiful.

and may i say, the fun is soon to begin. one day your 2 year old will be bathing in toilet water...

[jenica]

and it may not be that your story is particularly earth-shattering, but it is one that you were willing to share. one that so many feel a deep and personal kinship with. one that each of us are now celebrating.

ok, i'll stop posting comments now! ;-D

xoxo

[Lisa]

I didn't make the 65 comment cut off, but I suppose my wish for you would be: Beginning

[linni]

Your are invited to ‘come out and play’…

Play date on my blog xx

[Jeanine]

My God, you are beautiful. In and Out. I'm so happy for you.