when i first started this blog i really had no agenda or direction. i wasn't trying to change the world or inspire anyone, i just wanted to write. i figured the only people who would ever see this space were some friends and family who i had mentioned it to.
when life took a few unexpected turns on me, i changed, and therefore my writing changed as well. i found i could no longer stay on the surface and needed to show my vulnerability as a way to begin the healing process.
during this time a strange thing happened, people i didn't know were finding my blog and commenting on it. sure, i knew other blogs i read had commenter's, i was even commenting, but all i could think was, who would want to comment on mine?
a blogger i hugely admire told me early on to write what i was most passionate about and my audience would find me. i think what happened is i ended up finding what i was most passionate about and finding others.
i soon noticed other women, many of whom are bloggers themselves, reached out to share their own stories of loss ~ especially in the areas of infertility, miscarriage as well as the babies they now held. this was so comforting to me ~ to know i wasn't alone and we could find comfort with each other sharing those raw emotions of loss that some others simply couldn't understand.
some of these connections went deep. i have been blessed to connect with other women through email, on the phone, through thoughtful care packages and have even met a couple of these beauties face to face which of course just helps to solidify the bond that is already there. one of these blogging beauties even became my very favorite catering client.
blogging has changed me in many ways. i find myself continuously inspired by the poetic blogs of others. i am much less fearful of my own talents. i am much more open to connecting with others on a spiritual/soulful level because of this amazing, supportive, loving community. i know many of us are strangers, but blogging does help us to know each other in certain ways.
so, to you, i say thank you.
thank you being so willing to share your stories, heartbreaks, advice and celebrations with me. thank you for visiting me and leaving a comment ~ it truly makes my day. thank you for the emails, cards, love, gifts and friendship (you know who you are) thank you to those of you with etsy stores so that i may be consistently inspired by your creativity.
i know i wouldn't be sitting in the same headspace i am today had those twists and turns not have taken place. sometimes our biggest dreams don't come wrapped up in the package we thought they would, but eventually they do come.
is this to say that i am thankful for losing two pregnancies? not at all. i will never understand the whys behind what took place and i suppose there will always be hurt there, but i am thankful for recognizing the mixed blessings that come with heartbreak and understanding what it truly means to be in the moment. i am thankful i have become even more compassionate of others through these life lessons and more willing to follow my dreams with less fear attached. and i am truly thankful for my great big belly i am currently rocking.
a gorgeous mermaid i met through blogging just wrote a post about my story that i am truly touched by. she said some really nice things about me, and while i think she is giving me way too much credit, i am genuinely touched by her incredible gesture and wish to share it here.
you see, she creates these magical rocks that she collects by the sea and paints beautiful, uplifting, dreamy words on them and then places them all over for all the world to behold. her heart is beyond huge. i would love to see her start a children's workshop where she teaches kids how to collect and paint beach rocks and sprinkle magic into the world at such a tender age.
she is currently asking for one word wishes for our little girl. i can't think of a more poignant and heartfelt way for those who know my story, whether i know you or not, to be a part of this little girl's life.
she said i deserved a happy ending, the truth is we all do which is what hope is all about.
so please, visit my magical friend and if you are so inclined leave a one word wish for you and for me.
this is what makes community so amazingly powerful.
thank you sweet mccabe
thank you too