On Balance, Bella Wish and e-Books

new yummies in my Bella Wish shop ~ modeling longer chains is the truly delicious Lisa Field-Elliot   (click photo for larger image)

I am sometimes asked how I balance a business, a husband and two baby girls. Whenever someone asks me this, my initial reaction is to laugh because my truth is that balance to me implies distribution of weight in equal proportions and I don't think I have ever been able to achieve such a thing, even before kids.

Balance is a word that clearly eludes me. I think there is a misconception that when we see someone who works and is also a parent that somehow that person has something figured out or somehow makes it look easy. I think the only thing I have figured out lately is that when you leave a leaking sippy cup filled with milk inside a diaper bag for three days, the result won't be pretty.

I remember a moment so clearly when I attended the BlogHer conference in 2006 when I somehow found the nerve to approach a very popular and well-known blogging goddess who had just published her first book and was there promoting it. One of my own lofty dreams is to publish a book and I wanted to meet her and breathe in some of that published author energy hoping it would somehow rub off on me.

I must have babbled on to her endlessly, as I tend to do when I am nervous, because it seems I shared with her that I was trying to get pregnant. You know, because that is what you tell strangers who have no idea who you are...

Graceful as she is, she sweetly and happily answered all of my questions, even sending me her book proposal a few days later so I could see what one looked like. I know. Awesome, right? But the defining moment came when at one point she looked right at me and said, "You might want to consider birthing the book before birthing the baby."

I knew what she meant by this... babies are a beyond full-time job, any parent can tell you this. It makes more sense to follow your dreams before the babies arrive when there is this fictitious and perceived idea that there is nothing but time and once we have accomplished those goals we can just sit back and enjoy the fruits of our labor once our babies arrive. And though that might be true in some rare cases, there is also the truth that oftentimes our dreams are followed as a result of a huge life shift and not because we are checking them off in any sort of order, at least that is how it is in my case.

Birthing the baby was the catalyst that birthed the creativity for me. Bella Wish would never have been born without my first daughter, Isabella Wish, coming into my life and filling me with motivation and inspiration. Everything about the journey to finding her changed me and opened up my heart, which is the path to creating. So as much as I would have loved to birth the book before the baby, the book just wasn't ready to be birthed yet. Sometimes one dream needs to happen before the next one presents itself.

Having said that, I have been struggling keeping my business afloat since Mia has arrived. Taking a maternity leave was so amazing, not only was I able to focus 100% on both of my daughters, but walking away from Bella Wish for a few months was exactly what I needed for some fresh ideas to formulate. The flip side is that walking away from my business for three months means having to start all over again in some ways when I decided to return.

I don't have the luxury of being a stay-at-home mom as my only job, I have to work to contribute financially since my job title of mommy doesn't put shoes on their feet. But it's also become very clear that with two babies my focus is shifted in a certain way now and all those moments I used to steal when Isabella would be napping no longer exist. Juggling two babies means no more productivity in stolen moments, what I need is an actual work schedule.

Don't get me wrong, I happily accept this shift. Where Isabella's early lessons taught me patience, Mia's early lessons are teaching me how to be present and really savor these joyous moments of my new baby girl who I fall more in love with each day. I don't want to miss a single breath that either of them take.

But I can't deny there is that burning passion within me to create. Both of my children bring this out in me and currently I am feeling about 14-months pregnant with ideas that I wish to birth to. Our creative projects also become our babies and also need nurturing, love and attention to thrive. I know it's important for me to step away from parenting to work on my ideas and my business, nurturing and giving them the attention they need as well. I find that honoring this part of myself is what allows me to be a more patient and present mother to my girls as well as a happier wife to my husband. Perhaps that might be my answer to where balance is found.

My husband and I are trying a new schedule on since we both agree that we are both working parents who support each other, our children and our dreams. It's simply this: He leaves home to work during the days Monday-Friday and I leave home to work during the evenings Monday-Thursday and one full day on the weekend. Sunday is family day with no work involved, only play... or sleep... or perhaps some laundry. 

This is the first week we have implemented and I'm exhausted and exhilarated at the same time. I've been able to accomplish more in this first week than I have in the past two months and it feels so good. The other amazing thing I find is that since I am no longer seeking out those stolen moments as I know I now have a scheduled time to work, I am free to just be available 100% to my girls during the day when I am with them with minimal distraction.

I won't even try and pretend, it's a tough and tiring schedule that will take some adjusting to, for both Jimmy and I, but we recognize this is what we need to do to make it work right now. We have a vision of what we want our life to look like for our family and we recognize to make that happen we need to do the work that needs to be done right now, together.

The lesson I am learning is that nothing we pursue is accomplished alone. Having help, support and creating time to take action on those baby steps is what makes it work. Without help things can fall apart which is exactly what I was feeling last week. Sincerely, I was thinking that it might be time to close up shop since I wasn't able to give it the attention it needs. I wasn't asking for the help I needed to make this happen. But now, having both help and support, I am feeling such a renewed passion for my little indie business and I want to share with you some new and exciting things that are happening over at Bella Wish. I'm happy to say that I won't be closing shop just yet:

*** I am now offering longer chains! This was my most requested item and now I am thrilled to have 24" and 30" chains available for your Bella Wish necklaces. I will soon also be offering 20" chains as well. Oh, and I almost forgot, in addition to cable chains I now also offer silver ball chains in any length you wish.

*** I am so in love with my yoga-inspired Om Shanti pendant. This is the necklace I have been wearing daily. It's simple and tiny and grounds me. I hope you love it too.

*** Alis Volat Propriis ~ She flies with her own wings. This was a custom order I made for a truly lovely woman and I just loved this phrase so much I asked her if I could use it. With her permission, I am happy to now offer them to you as well.

*** I hope to be launching a new website for Bella Wish in the next few months. This is a huge project since Jimmy and I are putting it together ourselves, but one that I am so excited about and have been wanting to do for a very long time. 

*** Are you on Facebook? Please come and friend me over at my new Bella Wish page . It's still brand new but I will be sharing news about Bella Wish along with any upcoming promotions and giveaways as well as creating a space for us to connect where I can learn more about you and together we can discover and support new creative businesses.

*** Speaking of sharing news, I will be starting a monthly newsletter as soon as I can figure out how to get the sign-up form on my sidebar. I am so technically challenged. 

***.... and now we come full circle to the idea of birthing a book. Some of the questions I am asked most from people who find my Etsy shop is where I purchase my supplies, where did I find a particular charm, how do I stamp my letters and do I take the pictures in my shop? As much as I want to answer everyone's questions personally, I found I was being a bit protective of sharing where I purchase my materials from when I first opened my shop.

When I first started making my necklaces I couldn't find much in the way of help and I spent months gathering resources and trying to figure out what I was doing as I was so clueless. I still spend hours seeking out new resources and the list is getting quite long as my charms and gemstones and other materials come from so many different places after a good amount of trial and error.

I felt it was such a journey for me to get to that point of actually opening my shop and once I did I felt a bit strange about handing all of that information over to anyone and everyone who asked, having just spent countless hours putting in the work.

But the more I thought about it, the more I realized that I do want to share these resources. I believe in being supportive of one another and I am forever grateful to those who have shared, and continue to share, information with me. I truly believe there is room for all of us and I want people who are interested to have this information to perhaps save themselves weeks of research, and instead just focus on their creative side and getting their business up and running. I thought about how I could share this information in a way that also felt comfortable for me and came up with the idea of putting together a sort of how-to book.

There will be more information posted as I dive further into putting this project together, but soon there will be a digital book available where I will share what I know. If you want to learn how to stamp your own pendants along with some tips and tricks I have learned along the way, the best places I have found to purchase raw materials to create hand-stamped jewelry, how to purchase materials at wholesale prices and perhaps even open your own shop, then this book will be for you.

Because I really want to make sure I don't leave anything out - I want whomever purchases this book to have as much information as possible - this is where I am asking for your input. It would help me tremendously to know if there is anything specific you would like to see included if this is something that interests you. If you have questions, comments or suggestions, please leave them either here in my comments, or you can email me directly at bellawishshop at gmail dot com.

Thank you for continuing with me on this journey...

Comments

[kristen]

i can't believe we were both at blogHer 06' i think if i'd known you were there, i'd have had a much better time.

anyway, your new schedule is admirable and something i'm going to talk to my own honey about...it makes sense and with my big exam coming up, i need to have a 'work' schedule so i can study and pass that sucker!!

i also love your new longer necklaces. xo

[Tina]

I LOVE the necklace, and have seriously looked at my budget to see if I could afford it :) (I just implemented a new budget and am already trying to nix it) But what I really wanted to say was my two daughters did the same thing to me. My first daughter made me push myself through school so I would be able to provide a better future for both of us. I had been working full time and going part time to school, but when I became pregnant I knew I had to quickly finish up. When I became pregnant with my second daughter healing myself and coming to peace with my past was what I needed to do to be able to work towards my dreams. I know my own pregnancies definitely helped me to open the floodgates to take chances, heal and discover my own creativity. So I am so glad to read that another womans pregnancy did the same thing.

[Swirly]

Not everyone is so generous. Not everyone believes there is enough room for everyone to thrive. Cheers to YOU.

[stacy]

Quite true, my dear. You know I hear you. I don't believe that sharing our knowledge takes away from anything we create and put out into the world. My wish is for us all to elevate each other on our journeys. Art is not a hierarchy. xoxo

[Janice]

I love your generous heart. From the moment I came across your work at Etsy, I knew I wanted to wear your work. I love all the pieces I bought from you and can hardly wait for your book. xoxo

[jordan 3]

Just because someone doesn't love you the way you want them to,doesn't mean they don't love you with all they have. Do you understand?

[Ugg Sundance II]

These articles are fantastic; the information and facts you show us is interesting for everybody and is genuinely good written. It’s just fantastic!!