stacydelarosa

February's Word

A return to my big camera

I am writing this from a café where I decided to bring my laptop and get some work done this morning for a change of scenery. Next to me are two gentleman playing card games over coffee and eggs, laughing joyously, and truly being in their moment. I can't seem to take my eyes off of them, there is certain rememberance that comes to me while watching them that is incredibly inspiring and so aligned with this month's guiding word. 

I’ve known my guiding February word for a few weeks now, excited and anticipating the lessons I know it will bring this month, one of those spiraling words that circles around us quite often. Witnessing these two men connecting in the flesh amongst the center of gorgeous souls seated in a cafe', each of lost in our own world of connecting virtualy through laptops surrounding them was my first lesson: tangible connection.

For those who are playing along with my word of the month club, last month we explored Release. For the whole of this month I invite you to be guided by the word Return. What does return look like for you?



It brings up many things for me. I just shared my guiding word of the year which is LAND and return connects me to much of what land holds. A return to the ground, a return to the earth, a return to connection, touch, simplicity, nature’s medicine and body.

A few days ago I shared the word of the month with some of my wimmens and asked what return looked like for them. Their responses were wild and deep and luscious -inside of each perspective were these beautiful nuggets of wisdom around returning to our inner wisdom, our intuition, the magnificence we each came into this world with, our source. A return to whats always been within us.

A return to light.

I invite you to take the whole of this month to return to connection in the form of sight, smell, taste, touch, sound and creativity. Journal around this one word, carry it with you each day.

As a way to open the door to return I invite you to find ten minutes to sit quietly someplace. Close your eyes and breathe deeply. What does return look like for you? Do you have a dream or a feeling you are longing to return to? Is there something you set aside long ago that still resides somewhere deep within you? How does it align with your guiding word-of-the-year if you have chosen one? Sit with these questions for even just ten minutes and see what comes up for you. Disconnecting from all the noise around us returns us to the desires of the self. 

This is my own focus for February.

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Releasing and the birth of a new year

My Guiding Word for 2013

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My Guiding Word for 2013

I spent this morning near the sea photographing a goddess who is rising her Queen. We sat on a blanket before I picked up my camera and did a wee tarot card reading. We spoke of gratitude, releasing, and taking ownership of our own shit. 

What I am really wanting to bring into my life this year is to be grounded. To root into what's real. I have heard myself say the same line out loud one too many times over the past few years which is : Everything feels so up in the air right now.

I’ve been in a state of limbo for longer than I care to admit.

This statement pertains to many things, though most of it has to do with a physical moving of our home. A place which is literally up in the air like a tiny birdhouse perched above the city. A place which has sheltered us and holds our history. A place filled with memories, natural light and a million dollar view. A place with no insulation and zero water pressure. A place that has served us well and we are ready to release.

Inspirational metaphors often speak of soaring, flight, and leaping. In many ways I feel like the salmon swimming upstream by saying I want to climb down our perch and connect with the Earth for a bit to find my footing.

Flying is fabulous and important, but I read something the other day that said, By all means go out on a limb, just make sure it's attached to a trunk. I’m working with two concepts currently which is to root and to rise.

To truly rise is to know where you first root. From trunk to limb. To be able to bend in the wind and allow your branches to dance wildly in the breeze is to trust that your trunk won’t uproot easily, it’s grounded into Earth, solid and supported in that space.

My goal is to be completely rooted in what I stand for and what I believe in that I won't be uprooted when my why is challenged by external sources. 

I am rooting deeply into gratitude for the whole of my life: the experiences that have led me to this point, for all that is, and for all that I am actively building.

My guding word for 2013 is Land.




The literal being about physically getting onto some land in the form of our own home. One with a foundation and surrounded by earth and soil to plant a vegetable and herb garden and run around barefoot.

Land to set up a tent for our girls to sleep under the stars.
Land for them to run, pick flowers, and collect dirt under their fingernails.
Land to build a fire pit to replace our television.
Land to invite friends and guests onto and into.
Land to share with some animals.
Land for us to stretch into, create, and grow as a family.
Land to sustain us, feed us, and ground us.
Land to rest, and retreat.

We’ve been up in the air long enough, it's time to come back down to the ground.

As I write this, the sweet home we own in Austin is being listed for sale. Releasing this home will be the key to us getting onto some land this year. It feels scary and bittersweet but we are ready to create the changes that need to be made and step into something new.

I am so connected and committed to my one big little word for 2013. It feels less lofty and more literal than some of my past words.

If you would, please share your word for 2013 along with how it came to you. 

Related articles

Releasing and the birth of a new year

Sunday shoptalk

My Guiding Word for 2013

Sunday shoptalk

Word of the Year pendant available in my Etsy shop. Use code SOULODGE10 for 10%off)

I realize this post is going to come off as self-promoting, but what I am also realizing as I continue to build and grow my business is to not fear letting people know what you are up to. Because I want to know what you are up to, I am sharing what I am up to as well.

I am always grateful when something comes my way that resonates and I am even more grateful that their message found me. If the person behind the message was too afraid to tell people, I would never have found them. Which is to say that I am firmly now in the mindset that when we don't share what we are up to with others, we are doing us all a huge disservice.

So.

With that.

I wanted to let you know two things.

The first thing: 

My friend and mentor Pixe Cambell is kindly hosting a giveaway over at her online home. This giveaway is for one seat in my course Getting Naked with the Now: Rooted in Gratitude AND your very own of what Pixie describes as my famous Word-of-the-Year pendants. 

With this giveaway it would seem that I want to undress you and adorn you at the same time. There is something about that I love so very much. And, um, just so you know... Yes. I do.

Please allow me the gift of undressing and adorning you by heading over to Pixie's blog and leaving a comment for your chance to win. I would also love it if you shared with others. The giveaway ends tonight! 

The second thing:

I am giddy that my space in this vast online world is getting a makeover, one more aligned with my aesthetic. Because of this, my Bella Wish Guide to Hand Stamping will soon be heading to the vault of no return... meaning you have until February 4th to download yours.... and at a complete steal for only $8.00! 

This guide is near and dear to me as it was my very first e-book and due to this I believe the videos alone are worth $8.00 simply for the comedy factor. But I will set my own insecurities about seeing myself on video aside and let others tell you their thoughts as well....

A heartfelt thank you...recently, I purchased your hand stamping guide. It has been a heart whispering to try, but I always seemed to find/create/invent/you name it all sorts of self-imposed limitations to set in my way. Today I watched your lovely video and when it finished, I felt so inspired with ideas calling out to me. Thank you for sharing, thank you for putting this out there, thank you for sharing your gift, your art with the world.  ~ Suzanne Sperl

This has been put together so beautifully, and for a STEAL. I've been wearing Stacy's jewelry for years now, and each piece has had a transformative effect on me. Last year I wore "trust" all year, knowing my ways, I had her also stamp "always" on the back-for the times when I would try to talk myself out of it (often). This is a powerful tool for creating your own medicine and wearing your talismans with supreme consciousness. THANK YOU, Stacy. This is such a gift! ♥ ~ Pixie Campbell

Hi Stacy. It feels as if I spent the day with you. The tutorial is truly fantastic. I love it, especially your casual, easy-going, imperfect style. I am making my big order tomorrow. Can hardly wait to add this art to my life. Thanks a million. ~ Jan Veith

Your Bella Wish hand-stamping guide is amazing! Thank you for sharing your knowledge! After my first day of stamping, I just had to let you know ♥ ~ Brandi Marie Little




Download your copy here today, I want you to have this or gift it to someone before I retire it, I truly do love this guide so much and believe it holds much value. After February 4th, it will no longer be an option.  

Initiation

This will most likely be my final post about releasing 2012 as it's time to get on with the new year already, yes? 

I have consciously taken the whole of this month as a releasing ceremony of sorts. I felt no pressure to have anything completed by December 31st. Children and age redefine the importance of time for us and are slow medicine for our often intolerable impatient ways of being.

I was planning on putting together a review of 2012 in photos, (well, the year of the Instagram photos anyway) but I was quickly reminded how that would involve so much more than running through my photos and gathering my favorites.

The thing with data loss (my laptop was stolen in December) is that when you go to retrieve something and realize you no longer have it, the mourning resurfaces. Which isn't to say I lost everything, I still have the majority of my photos, but what I did lose was the programs which housed and organized them all - in my case Aperture and iPhoto - which makes searching for a photo an hours long affair making it suddenly unimportant. **

And while all of that will be sorted at some point without worry, working temporarily on a borrowed laptop without my own account has brought me back to the bare essentials. I no longer have certain resources to pull from which feels a bit raw and shaky at times.

I was lamenting this to a dear medicine woman over the holidays sharing with her that much of my written content for my upcoming course was also now gone and putting me in a position to rebuild. I am paraphrasing her sage advice but her message was simply that whatever was on my laptop wasn't what I was teaching and it was in the sharing of my own path is where my true offering lies. 

As I write this at 6:00 am, my words feel scattered and explorative without a destination so what I am writing may not make much sense, but I think truly what this is about for me is coming into this new year releasing a large part of the old ways of my being - a stripping down of comfortable layers and getting naked, pulling out the dreams that were once written down on tiny scraps of paper and shoved way down inside my pockets where they were carried but never seen and placing them on the table and into the light, free from the tight grip of my clenched fist.

On the surface it might not be apparant, but 2012 was a gamechanger for me. It many ways it felt like an initiation into whatever is to come. A detoxing where I was asked to get vulnerable and leave behind a lot of what was weighing me down. It feels very clear that what 2013 is asking of me is to release the last bits of what isn't being invited into this next incarnation.

I see no coincidence that my course offering is called Getting Naked, it simply makes sense for where I am right now.

I am having a little closing ceremony around 2012, one where I release it with love + gratitude and step into 2013 with a new voice. 

*****
Two nights ago I dreamt I was driving on the freeway, preparing to exit at my usual and familar offramp when I saw a large grey wolf lying down across the entire exit - blanketed in her paws was her cub. I slowed way down as they both made deep eye contact with me and then I passed the exit to find another way home. 

The message in this dream feels really clear and obvious to me and the strong visual is something I am carrying. A sister in one of my circles asked me after sharing this dream, "Now, what are you going to do about that exit?" 

This is my guiding question of 2013. 




** having said that, you can see a good part of my year in photos by following me over on Instagram  

Shorn. Darkened. Lighter. Layered.

I released quite a bit of hair coming into this new year, as well as my accidental ombre - a result of months of boxed hair dye only at the roots and the southern california sun working it's magic on my straw bale tips. 

When my husband handed me the appointment card for a salon day with the words Feel as beautiful as I see you, I knew it had been too long since I had done something nice for myself.

Thank you Jimmy for taking it upon yourself to create space for my self care in the moments when I am too consumed with other priorities to see when it's needed. 

To be loved and seen by you is the greatest gift of all. 

Nine key events from 2012

I have dedicated the month of January to releasing 2012 and in doing so I wanted to share nine turning points that I experienced in 2012 and the lessons I learned from each. 

1) I removed gluten from my diet. During a winter cleanse with Stephanie of Wellness by Design in January 2012, I discovered that gluten is toxic to my body. It was an amazing breakthrough for me and connected the dots to so much regarding my health.

This month marks one year of being gluten-free and the learning curve that comes with opening a door to an entirely new way of eating and feeling... while also mourning sourdough bread.

I learned:

• that a one-size-fits all diet simply doesn't exist and it is in our best interest to seek out if there are certain foods that affect our systems.
• that you don't have to be diagnosed with celiac disease to feel the effects that gluten has on your body. 
• Gluten is being linked to everything from anxiety to gestational diabetes, to ulcerative colitis, to miscarriage. In my own life.... check, check, check and check. 
• that there are more questions than answers with regards to any of these links, educating ourselves while staying open is key.
• that trusting my intuition, and not the opinions of others, is the only way to go. Listen to the messages your body is telling you. 
• Food is magic and medicine.

2) I created, launched and facilitated my first e-course: Getting Naked with the Now. This course is so near and dear to my heart and was created from a year of desperately needing to see my life in a new way. It wasn't my intention going in but ultimately I put together an 6-week course using the tools I created over that year to shift my perspective and root down in gratitude for all that is.

I learned:

• that I know more than I think I do and that each of our experiences can shine a light on someone else and help them break through a place they felt stuck. 
• We all bring something to the table. We are all teachers. We are all students. 
• I can safely hold space for others with integrity.
• I don't provide instruction, I provide inspiration.  
• that I truly can create meaningful work in the world, my long-held, life-long dream.

3) I attended my first sweat lodge. Darkness is a womb, a womb births new life, and a sweatlodge holds and nurtures each. I took a lantern and dove into my own shadow caves during the Fall of 2012 for some personal growth and understanding and was called to a sweat lodge to release what was needing to be freed from that work.

In doing so I faced my literal fear of the dark, re-entered the womb, incubated, trusted, released, and emerged somehow new - I crawled out of that lodge dripping with sweat, shivering from the nightime air, caked with sand, smelling of copal, and seeing the trees and the fire and the stars all again for the first time.

Attending a sweat lodge showed me what I am capable of when I face my demons. I am no longer afraid of the dark, and in fact welcome the rich layers of gold which live in my own shadows.

I walked in that tent carrying so much, and left with only the essentials.

I learned:

Reading or writing about spiritual practice is not the same as practicing spirituality. 




4) I cleared out 70% of my closet.  I am not one who swoons over designer labels or shoes. I tried years ago to get excited about status handbags and statement jewelry, but it's just not my truth. Which is not to say that I am not smitten with luxurious fabrics, well-crafted anything and personal style, (I'm still a sucker for Anthropologie) but I am slowly learning to appreciate quality over quantity and to only keep that which is an expression of me and not an expression of someone else. 

I learned:

• Having to do less laundry opens up space for more play.
• Knowing exactly what hangs in my closet actually gave me more ways to play with my clothes.
• to listen closely to my "mmmmm"... something we explore in Getting Naked. 

5) I made a huge declaration.... and then changed my mind. My plan was to close Bella Wish shop at the end of the year and sell all my overhead. What I discovered is that I wasn't quite ready to say my final goodbyes. These everyday, simple amulets I craft are still needed in the world and to trust I will know when it's truly time to release it wholly. 

I learned:

• to refrain from making huge public declarations and to quietly trust the process as it unfolds. 
• that working with a business coach is essential. Coaches see areas of our business that we are often clouded by since we are often too much in it. 
• that a good coach can zero in on the obvious areas that need some attention or simply provide a new perspective, clearing a space for the a-ha moment to arrive. 
• that when you make a decision and don't feel that beautiful exhale of relief afterward (even if you are terrified), pay attention.
• there are more options than open for business or closed for business. We get to make the rules and even create new ones when it comes to entrepreneurship.

6) I leaped into a life-long dream and moved out of my dining room and into a creative studio space outside my home. 

I learned:

• that working from home doesn't really work when you live with three other people inside of 900 square feet.
• when I send a message to the universe that I am determined to rise my business, it allows the universe to rise up as co-creator.
• though they are in fact integrated, it's important for me to seperate my work life from home life. 
• When you leap, the net does, in fact, appear. And more importantly to trust that even if you can't see the net, it's there, even if you don't see it until you get dangerously close to the ground.
• that we all need a space to claim as our own to retreat to, whether that be the corner of your dining room or a 350 sq ft oasis in the middle of a vintage auto body shop waiting to be fully expressed.

 

7) I became certified as a holistic life coach.

I learned:

• that the judging voice of reason I hear the most is the one inside my own head.
• when something whispers to me for over five years that I need to pay attention. 
• that what certification was ultimately giving me was affirmation that I had already been doing this work naturally for years. 

8) I lived in a dream house for the month of June. Waking up greeted by the rising sun in the East, plenty of room for my girls to frolic, nature surrounding, a dream kitchen to cook in and a blanket of stars each night. June was filled with the beauty I dream about and some much needed time away from the city.

I learned:

• that living the dream means nothing if Jimmy isn't there to share it with us. 

9) I had my laptop, two cameras and a shite ton of silver stolen out of my car. On the same day that our country witnessed an unimaginable tragedy, I went to my car only to discover that everything I put in a few hours earlier to take to my studio was gone. Since my family was safe, it didn't occur to me to grieve material and data loss. 

I learned:

• That loss is loss, and though material things are replacable, data loss usually isn't and must be grieved... and that it is okay and even essential to grieve this loss and sit with the suckness of it all.
• that although I found the silver (it was lying on a brick wall down the street) having lost that would have most likely forced me to close my doors immediately and for good on Bella Wish. This was a wake up call into my current business model and the messages I am sending to the universe about what I am wanting to ultimately build for myself and my family.
• to lean even more into the fine art of non-attachment. Just when I thought I knew what that meant, I was given another opportunity to dive deeper into the practice of it. We often talk about starting the year with a clean slate, I feel that I am literally starting the new year with one. 
• the gift of darkness always comes with it's own light if we are open to seeing it.
• $300 is not too much to pay for Time Capsule if you are on a Mac. Take a lesson from my book, if you aren't automatically backing up your data, begin today.

Releasing and the birth of a new year

Happy Birthday 2013!

It's just past midnight on New Year's Eve. The girls are asleep, I've kissed my husband, fireworks are booming away outside, a wine glass waits patiently at my feet. I'm grateful for this quiet celebration after returning from holiday travels. 

I know many creatives who choose one word going into the new year to serve as their guide. I've practiced this ritual myself for years and even make tangible offerings to support your words. I've noticed that I also feel somewhat limited around the pressure of choosing just one word and wonder if you do too.

Why choose just one word? Or why not have monthly guiding words to support the one word? was my thought.  A couple months ago I had an idea to offer a newsletter that would offer my readers and those who signed up a different word delivered straight to their inbox each month along with a downloadable photo incorporating that month's word as a reminder for personal use. A word of the month club, I suppose. 

With all that took place in December (more on that soon) I found that I just couldn't get it together in time to make the offering, automate and promote it. After going back and forth a bit whether to scratch the whole idea or not, I asked myself if it had to be offered only as a newsletter and of course that answer was no. 

And while I may very well still send these out as monthly newsletters, I have also decided to post a word here at the beginning of each month that will serve as my guiding topic. I invite you to use these monthly words as your own guide for journaling, blogging, etc., or choose ones that call out to you. 

While I do have a chosen word of the year that I will be posting about soon, my word for January is RELEASE. I'm feeling that I can't properly manifest what I am wanting for 2013 without properly releasing 2012 with love and grace. I also feel it may take me the entire month of January to properly release 2012. 

Release this month means for me letting go of what was to create space for what will be, while remaining rooted in gratitude for what is. It means processing loss and breaking some generational patterns. It means continuously purging the physical items that always seem to find their way into this home. It means facing the scary places that I often don't want to look in the eye and telling the truth about what no longer works in both my business and my life.

It means cleansing, clearing, stripping down and getting naked in a spiritual sense. It also means releasing any self-judgement I have around these areas and diving in with loads of love and heaping helpings of self compassion.

I don't enter 2013 with stars in my eyes, I know there is much work to be done and unexpected surprises in store. I am looking to expand my business in larger ways this year. I'm looking to play much bigger than I have been. What I am discovering is the path to entrepreneurship is a deeply spiritual one and the higher you want to rise your life/business the deeper your soulwork becomes. 

This entrepreneurial path can be met with great resistance, after all if it were easy everyone would be doing it as the saying goes, eh? But that is simply it, each of us can do it, we just need to be ready. And being ready begins with letting go. And letting go is hardly ever easy. 

Change isn't warmly welcomed by the faint of heart or those married to the status quo.

Releasing what weighs us down so that we may rise up to meet our truest selves, this is our continuous work. 

May I rise up to be the change I wish to see in 2013. 


(this image may be downloaded for your personal use, my request being that if you share online to link back to this site.)

 

Happy Holidays

I haven't had much to say here but not for lack of things I want to share. I've simply felt the pull to retreat, be present with my family, and honor the strong messages I have been receiving in hopes of finding a bit of clarity.

As we return to the light, post solstice, I am feeling ready to emerge - restored and recharged. 

I was given a beautiful gift yesterday: Christmas Eve morning shamanic yoga on a mountaintop. Sarah Jane Owen led us through a guided meditation and had us visualize our dream for the world. Once we had that vision she asked where in our own lives we are able to contribute to that dream. 

Many things clicked into place for me in that moment, the main being that we each truly need to be the change we wish to see in the world and we each already hold the key to change within. I am carrying the messages and the lessons with me into this new year, ready to release the fear that keeps me stuck in some major areas and eager to share more of my deeper dreams with you.

My holiday wish for you is that you are filled with joy and rooted in gratitude for all that is. May you become less afraid of the dark as a means to ignite the light within you so it shines even brighter and illuminates the world. 

when the darkness of winter comes, remember...

For the grieving community of Newton, CT and anyone who is sitting with loss, this is for you. 

Your pain is witnessed and held.

I am crying with you. 

some thoughts on marriage, love + death

Eleven years ago today, under the full moon, my love and I were wed. Even though we chose Dias de los Muertos to be our anniversary we chose not to say the words 'til death do us part" in our vows. Eleven years ago it was simply that seperation through death didn't resonate and neither one of us believed in the idea of a jail sentence.

I mean no offense to anyone who says these words in their marriage vows and I understand the meaning behind it for many. What I mean when I say jail sentence is yes, on our wedding day we were deeply in love and our intention was to share and build a life together, but we also loved each other enough to know that if one of us ever decided we were happier outside the marriage that the other would let them go in peace. It may sound strange but marriage for us felt more like stepping into freedom, not a contract, a place where we could make up the rules as we went along without trying to predict the future or write the ending.  

Today I find that til death do us part holds deeper meaning than what I originally thought. Jimmy and I have been together fifteen years now and with time comes transition. What I have learned in my marriage so far is that as an evolving human being - one who makes mistakes, isn't perfect and has shed many layers through the years - is that when we take the literal shadow meaning of inevitable death out of the picture, the metaphor becomes one for growth, expansion, new life.

As two humans walking on different spiritual paths of personal growth Jimmy and I have both died a hundred deaths I imagine throughout our marriage and if that meant we were to part each time transition took place, we would be in serious trouble. 

I don't believe marriage is about becoming one, we are already connected. I don't believe in the idea of "you complete me" in all it's Hollywood romance. I believe resentment arises when we try to write the story and the script for our partners in such a way that they aren't able to act it out according to our vision - I've tried that method, it doesn't work. 

I believe any romantic relationship is a partnership where each person takes self responsibility for what they bring to it. I believe that a partner who can hold the space for transition and change without holding a deep sorrow or mourning for what "once was" and feel safe to be who they are is an honest and beautiful honoring of that love. I also believe in some marriages that letting go is the best way to honor a love that once was. 

In our marriage, when we are able to hold space for each other, free from judgement and safe to share truth without taking it personal is where we find ourselves in harmony. It's what allows us to choose trust daily and laugh deeply often. It's not always easy and there was a time where we both questioned if we had come to the end our our road. Thankfully the answer to that question was no, there is so much more for us to explore together, and I happily celebrate today, so proud of us and our journey so far and am grateful for the whole of it. We have grown together and individually, we have brought forth two beautiful girls and continue the work of partnering and building a life we love living... together. Met with love. Rooted in gratitude. Allowed to bend. Free to grow. 

*******

Fifteen years ago yesterday I met Jimmy at a Halloween party. Some part of my soul recognized him instantly and shortly after our meeting he gave me a card with an illustration of a magical ship that was flying over the sea. He said it reminded him of us. 

Over time that ship has collected many treasured sun-kissed skies, traveled far and wide and weathered a few severely stormy seas over the years. Through it all I am happy to say we remain anchored in love. 

I love you, Jimmy. I'm so grateful to have you as my shipmate on this incredible adventure we are continuously navigating together.

Happy Anniversary