Merry Christmas. You have been Rightsized!

Urban Dictionary needs to add this word to it's database. Rightsized. It's a term that I know well as it just happened to me. If you work for a corporation like I do, er, did, then you may have already heard of it. However, if you don't and are one of those cool people with a cool job, such as being self-employed, let me explain. Remember when you were young and your parents, and or friends of parents, would drink a lot because they had been "laid off"? Then when you were older and perhaps working for a corporation you, or your friends, would drink a lot because they, or you, had been "downsized"? Well, the new PC word on the block is rightsize. Say it with me, Rightsized. It means, "thanks for all your hard work, we no longer need you because we need to keep ourselves in these custom Armani suits so have yourself a Merry little Christmas in the unemployment line. Bu-bye." Is this word supposed to make us feel better? My thinking is that it's a word to make company shareholders feel better as in, "Bob, we are rightsizing our new business model to assure you can keep your mistress in her condo in Redondo Beach, ahem... I mean to right our company's positive cash flow." It's certainly not a word to make the lowly employee feel better. In fact, why would you say that to someone? I didn't feel good hearing it. Actually, I almost started laughing it was just all so ridiculous. "Well, Schmoopy, As you know, Bob has been working on rightsizing the company, and since you ain't right, you will need to leave. Bu-bye." And have me leave they did. The 40 or so total of us that they "rightsized" had absolutely no notice. Tuesday morning I had a job, Tuesday afternoon I didn't. In fact, I was in the middle of something very important I am sure when I was called in to meet with "The Bob's". As "The Bob's" explained to me that I was about to be booted out on my ass, they informed me that as we were talking, my computer access had already been shut down and that I would be escorted out of the building once I signed my paperwork stating that this was an amicable decision by both parties. No chance to save my personal documents, no chance to inform my clients of the status of their projects, no chance to say "see-ya" to my former co-workers. When asked if I had any questions, I said, "Yes, may I at least get my car keys?" Then to add insult to injury, I was watched as I packed the little belongings I did keep there and escorted to my car to make sure that I left the building... and wasn't coming back. Could I be a bigger LOSER? All I could think was, "Did I do something wrong, was I surfing porn on my computer or selling insider trading tips to clients or drowning puppies and kittens during my lunch hour, perhaps?" No, no and goodness no. I wondered what could possibly have warrented such behaviour on their part. Did they think I was going to get all Pulp Fiction on their asses and call in the calvary? Back in the day when I would be "laid-off" during film productions this type of criminal behavior never happened to me. Au contraire, we were given ample notice, thrown parties, exchanged warm goodbyes and even could back up our computers if we needed to. Times have changed apparantely. Oh, the best part, as I was at the security gate returning my keycard to the guy that so kindly carried my box down to my car (ulterior motive, to make sure I was actually leaving) he said, "Just know that we are so sorry and you have lots of references to use here." Uh, yeah, I will be sure to do that. So, consider me rightsized. Once again. I had worked in production for years and would regularly be laid-off after a project ended. I was used to it. It was part of the business. Que sera, sera. When I decided to get a "real" job, I thought it wouldn't happen as much. I thought I could stay employed, buy a house, advance my career. Wrong, wrong and wrong. But truth be told, I think this is the best thing that could have happened. The name-to-be-withheld company isn't doing well financially, or otherwise, so they needed to "rightsize" from a business perspective. You know, during the holidays. And, sure, we are trying to start a family and buy a house (not necessarily in that order) and two incomes would have really helped with that. But you see, in spite of that, I see real opportunity here. And I don't mean complete freedom to drink a lot and watch Project Runway marathons all day, appealing as that sounds. No siree, Bob. This job, and I say job, was NOT a good fit for me. It certainly wasn't anything that made me feel like I was contributing to the world and it certainly wasn't advancing my career goals. Truth be told, Jimmy couldn't be happier, he is jumping for joy and it's not because he doesn't want me to work. He is a modern guy after all and the more bacon we can bring home right now, the better. It's just that he doesn't like to see me get sidetracked, and make left turns when I should have gone straight ahead; I couldn't have been more lost having taken this position. So, you see, it's all good! Rightsized! Steering me to the right side of the road!

Comments

[Nichole]

Just so ya know, I was devistated when Matt told me what had happened. Welcome to the club, my friend. Anytime you want to watch Project Runway reruns and drink, just let me know.