On Being Quiet

canon digital rebel xt

A friend of mine forwarded an email to me today that a friend of hers had written her. The part she wanted me to see was the following:

Do you still see Stacie?  I happened upon the movie Dinosaur one day when I was still pregnant and was so happy that I could take a nap that day.  I knew it would keep Taylor and Jackson happy and it did.  Afterwards I showed them Stacie's name on the credits and now every time they watch it they pause it to see her name.  It's so cute and they want to meet her.  Tell her I have started her fan club out here.

I cried when I read this. I share this not to toot my own horn, but because I have been very quiet lately. I haven't felt like sharing. Because what I have been feeling is not pretty. I have been feeling like a failure. I have been having some issues with my work and have felt frozen in so far as pursuing my visions of starting my own business. I feel that my dreams are so close yet I am still so very afraid to reach out and grab them. Am I afraid to fail or afraid to succeed? Instead of finding out, I have been beating myself up pretty hard over this, spending the last week reflecting on why it has been such a struggle for me to find my calling and pursue the career of my dreams. I have been second guessing myself and my ideas, not taking action and sleeping a lot as an escape. Basically I am doing everything I can to sabotage myself and getting in my own way.

When my friend sent me this message today I told her that she had no idea how much I needed to read these words and thanked her for sharing. She truly made my day by sharing this simple thought with me.

It opened my eyes and made me see that even in those moments when you think you don't matter, when you feel small or feel like a failure, there is someone out there whose life you have touched in some way, no matter how small, even if they never tell you, even if you never find out about it, but just knowing within you have touched someone's life in some way is what helps me to see how important it really is to take action, embrace your dreams and gifts, and know you have in no way failed.

You have touched someone's life. That was for me and for you too.

Comments

[Chris]

Aw. It seems the universe gives us just what we need, just when we need it.

[me-nikk]

wow... I read your entry as if it were myself writing it. wow. but not exactly admitting it to anyone just yet, just secretly sabotaging.

It's amazing when those little things happen to remind us and put us back on track. :) Living angels...

I'm raising my coffee mug to you. Here's to you! You awesome amazing creative inspirational woman you!

[rubyslippers]

isn't it funny how we beat ourselves up for beating ourselves up? I know this too well. But just remember that that isn't who you truly are, my dear...you are a fabulous shining star and the world needs your light. keep breathing...I'm with you trying to do the same!

[ceanandjen]

Oh goodness honey, tears in my eyes. So, you are doing this to yourself too? Good grief, how do we dig ourselves out this hole? I wish I knew; I wish I had some magic answers. I woke Cean up at 2:00 am last night (this morning) crying in bed...over, well, everything. Nothing seems right; I don't seem right; I can't get it together...at all.

Not making this about me; I am just telling you that not only do I understand; I am right there with you.

I think that part of the problem is that life is speeding by around us. It tests us and tempts us and when we are the tiniest bit weakened, it jumps up on us and it all builds, exactly like it is now.

We know who we are, and we know that we are good woman who have a lot of offer. YOU are an amazing woman...you do know that, yes? I am reminding you...AMAZING, BEAUTIFUL, CREATIVE, LOVING, LOVELY.....you are all of that and more.

Let's work on believing ourselves and in ourselves. Holding your hand from afar and sending you lots of love and hugs.

xoxoxoxo

[windylindy]

It's called Serendipity!

[amanda]

oh how i understand what you are feeling and can identify with every word you wrote. it's so hard to step out of our comfort zones...even though it's not such a comfortable feeling knowing you were meant to be doing something else. i think you having this blog, reaching so many hearts...you have an amazing spirit and i know everything you want will come into fruition...
sending you lots of love.
a

[daisies]

sweetheart ~ you are fabulous and wonderful and everytime I come here and read little pieces of you, you touch my life. when i make the soup recipes you sent, you touch my life and my family's life in oh so healthy ways, when i think of how brave and beautiful you are, you touch my life and so many people's lives.

i understand because i am constantly sabotaging myself, filling the spaces in between with self doubt as I stop and start my plans for my dreams but maybe all of us who are in this space can lift each other up and collectively move forward.

i know with every ounce of my being that your dreams are beautiful and your talent knows no bounds ~ sending you much love, xoxox

[Colorsonmymind]

Oh love - it is normal to have these feelings. Or at least it is normal to me. LOL.

It will shift-

I had a chakra clearing-or unboxing-twice actually. And both times the healer saw a box around my second chakra-the one related to babies, emotions and creativity. I think I built a wall around it, and scaling that wall felt and can still feel scary at times.

You can do it.

Just take a small creative step-and then another-it will start to flow.

Love and kisses

[boho girl]

everyone here said all i wanted to say and more. i won't be repetative but what i will say is that you are and forever will be a superstar, no matter what you do.

i loved the movie Dinosaur! i have to watch it again now just to see your name. that's so fricken cool. seriously.

i love you and hope that you are lighting candles and being gentle with you tonight.

do me a favor and kiss your full yummy lips on the bathroom mirror and pretend it's me. ; )

xoxox and if you need to laugh...just remember what i did this weekend. hee hee.