imagine

thirty-fine~ canon digital rebel xt & playing around with photoshop actions

Today I turn 39 years old. One of those precarious numbers that have one feeling perched on the edge of a high dive pulling you into the next decade of life, whether you are ready to jump into those waters or not.

One of the ways I wish to celebrate another glorious year of life is to become my own best friend. To treat myself as kindly as I treat those I love. To seek out the beauty I see in so many others within me.

I have been taking a series of healthy cooking classes with Monika and a lovely holistic nutritionist named Carey Peters. I adore Carey because her philosophy on nutrition is as much about nourishing your soul as it is nourishing our bodies, a theory I couldn't agree more with. Her holistic practice is called Elevate. How delicious of a word is that?

In the raw foods class that Deni and I just took, Carey discussed the idea of being your own travel companion. She posed the question, and hilariously illustrated with a bit of role-play, if we were embarking on a cross country road-trip who would we choose to be in the car alongside us for hours at a time? Would you choose the person who says things such as: You look fat. Why would you wear that? I don't know what possessed you to choose that color of lipstick. That idea is stupid, who do you think you are? You can't do that, you are not smart enough, talented enough, creative enough, brave enough... Or would you choose the person who says things like: You look so cute today! What a great pair of shoes! And your hair? To die for! Your idea sounds wonderful, you are truly creative and talented, let's make it happen. You are truly divine, talented, sexy, juicy, gorgeous, fabulous. I love you.

Obvious choice, right? But think about the inner dialogues we have with ourselves. Which statements above sound closest to your own inner dialogue? As much as I have become more self-accepting of myself though the years, I struggle constantly with my own inner dialogue that says terrible things about me on a daily basis. Things I could never imagine saying to a close friend but find it acceptable to say to myself for whatever reason. Why is it so easy to see the pure beauty in others but when it comes to ourselves our own beauty is harder to find, hidden behind all those streams of negative dialogue?

My soulful, comedic and wise friend Kristen says that when we do this we are tuned in to the radio station, KFUCT. So how do we turn off KFUCT with all it's terrible negative messages and tune into something more loving and positive? How do we truly understand that we are perfect exactly as we are in this moment? One suggestion that Carey gave to the class is to keep a gratitude journal.

Many of us keep gratitude journals, myself included, but I noticed that the journal she was talking about was different. This gratitude journal is specifically about our physical selves rather than all the external influences we are grateful for. The challenge is as follows:

For thirty days write down ten things every morning and ten more things every evening that you like about yourself, and that you are grateful for, physically or personality-wise, embracing the quirks, and so-called flaws, taking those voices we hear on KFUCT, reversing them and seeing them in a new light.

Carey confessed to the class that coming up with twenty new and kind things to write down and say to herself each and every day for thirty days was not at all easy and one of the scariest and most difficult challenges she had ever done but helped to nourish her in countless ways, allowing herself to be her own traveling companion on that cross-country road trip. She said it changed her life. She challenged all of us in class to do the same for ourselves.

As a gift to myself coming into my 39th year, I am taking on this challenge for the next 30 days. I invite anyone to take this journey for themselves as well and become your own best friend and traveling companion. If you do, let me know in the comments along with a nice comment about YOU.

As a gift to you, I leave you with an excerpt from a wonderful-sounding book called Imagine a Woman in Love with Herself by Patricia  Lynn Reilly. I first heard of this book through my inspirational friend, Denise. I still don't own the book, but on her blog last year Denise read from the following words, which I love, in her own sweet and yummy voice which you can listen to here.

Imagine a woman who believes it is right and good she is a woman.
A woman who honors her experience and tells her stories.
Who refuses to carry the sins of others within her body and life.

Imagine a woman who has acknowledged the past's influence on the present.
A woman who has walked through her past.
Who has healed into the present.

Imagine a woman who names her own gods.
A woman who imagines the divine in her image and likeness.
Who designs her own spirituality and allows it to inform her daily life.

Imagine a woman in love with her own body.
A woman who believes her body is enough, just as it is.
Who celebrates her body's rhythms and cycles as an exquisite resource.

Imagine a woman who honors the body of the Goddess in her changing body.
A woman who celebrates the accumulation of her years and her wisdom.
Who refuses to use her precious life-energy disguising the changes in her body and life.

Imagine a woman who values the women in her life.
A woman who sits in circles of women.
Who is reminded of the truth about herself when she forgets.

Imagine a woman who has grown in knowledge and love of herself.
A woman who has vowed faithfulness to her own life and capacities.
Who remains loyal to herself, regardless.

Imagine yourself as this woman.

Comments

[amanda]

happy happy happy day to a very beautiful you.

i love this post. i am going to join you in this gratitude journal about me for the next thirty days...

i wish you a day filled with so much laughter, wine, your sweet hubby, all your friends, and a million stars to make magic wishes on.

lots of LoVe.
a

[boho girl]

happy birthday schmoopy love.

you are 39 years of DELICIOUSNESS.

lets celebrate together soon, k?

i love you and am so grateful for you in my life. you are such a wonderful friend.

i love your friend's idea of hushing the our inner KFUCT radio stations. she rocks.

attitude of gratitude (hee hee),
love deni

[colorsonmymind]

Happy Birthday beautiful-wise one.

I loved all the yumminess in this post.

XOXOXO

So grateful:)

[cayden]

Happy Birthday~

I am definitley celebrating you and all your beautiful thoughts on this wonderful day. I hope you have a FUN day filled with fits of giggles :).

love to you~

[daisies]

happy birthday beautiful you!!

i adored this post and so much of it resonated with me on oh so many levels. i am going to try this gratitude journal (eep!!) and will start tomorrow morning. : ) because I am wonderful in that I love to try new challenges (that wasn't so hard and made me smile ~ 20 a day could just fill me with joy)

talk soon : ) xoxox

[boho girl]

oh...and did i mention that you're GORGEOUS?

*sigh*

i could definitely write 20 yummy things about you for 30 days. easy shmeezy schmoopy. ; )

[Dreamergirl]

Happy Birthday to you!!!!!

You know, I have that book on my bedside table. I stopped reading it a while ago (don't know why i did that). Tonight I will read in it again, in honour of your b-day. This post has inspired me, and I'm thinking about joining you on that 30-day challenge.

Have a wonderful fabulous birthday!

With love and hugs,

xoxo Silvia

[Tina]

HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I hope you have fantastic day today!!!

Welcome to the 39 club. :)

many hugs to you!!

[PixieDust]

Hmmm... something positive about myself... oooh! I know! I think you are GORGEOUS so I have good taste, yes?
:-)
Happy B-day! (I'll be 39 this year, also - very exciting.)

[kristen]

How surprised - and yet not - I am that on YOUR birthday you give the rest of us a gift - the gift of the gratitude journal. I started mine tonight and let me tell you - I was surprised at the results.

The first thing I'm grateful for? The shape of my toes.
Writing three things I'm grateful for - no problem.
Writing six things - ooookkkay -- I eeked those out.
Got eight done before I was stuck.
And this was the FIRST DAY!

I suspect the next 30 days will prove both challenging and rewarding. What a marvelous gift. Thank you Stacie. xoxo

[kristen]

Happy Birthday. I loved this post because it addresses that voice (how cool to call it KFUCT!!) that's been dominating my brain lately. I've also been non-inspired to write in my journal so this 30 day task comes a the most perfect time. Thank you for this gift.

[kristen]

Just wanted to give credit for KFUCT to the brilliant writer Anne Lamott. It's from her book Operating Instructions which fundamentally changed my life. I'm so grateful for all the ways she put words to her fears and feelings because I realized for the first time that I wasn't the only one with KFUCT playing in my mind, and more importantly, that I could change the station. Thank you Anne Lamott.

[Kirsten Michelle]

sending birthday wishes for a wonderful day and an extraordinary year!
you are such a beautiful and inspiring gift to us all :-)
xo
k

[Sue]

Happy 39th, my dear!!! I won't remain in Tina's Club 39 for much longer myself....but welcome, nonetheless! I hope you & Jimmy had wonderful b-days this year may you both have many more in the future! XOXO -- much love, Club President for the big 4-Oh.

[kimananda]

Happy ever so slightly belated 39th! I'm about to hit that number myself (in August), and I look forward to seeing what you think of that age. I may try the 30 day challenge with you as well. Starting with...I'm able to face major adversity and quickly regain my sense of self afterwards. Hmmm...it'll be tough to think of many more, but I suppose that's the challenge, yes?

Oh, and I got here from Maddie's beautiful blog. :-)

[ceanandjen]

Oh honey, HAPPY BIRTHDAY with so much love.

I cried reading this post...well gosh, I can't even begin to say it all here. Last week was my birthday and I am currently going through...well, crap...lots and lots of crap. Just last night I was explaining to Cean how I am my own worst critic and how I have been really horrific to myself lately...the worst. So, you can understand why this completely resonates with me. I wish I could reach through the computer screen and hug you...both with extremely warm birthday wishes and with a huge "thank you." So many times, especially when I have been on a so-called "blog breaks" when I come here and read your words I swear you are speaking directly to my soul.

I wish you every happiness in the world. I truly hope that you share what this challenge/journey is like for you.

My "good comment" about myself, and the one thing that I did declare last night is that I know that I am a good and kind person...I try.

And 39???? You are fabulous and gorgeous and everything delicious.

Sending you lots of love.xoxoxoxoxoxo

[amystery]

Happy Birthday! Thanks to the beautiful boho I have lurked often, but never commented in this lovely space. However...I couldn't resist your challenge, KFUCT gets far too much play in the little space between my ears.

my positive thought (#1 on the list?), I give love freely.

[amystery]

Happy Birthday! Thanks to the beautiful boho I have lurked often, but never commented in this lovely space. However...I couldn't resist your challenge, KFUCT gets far too much play in the little space between my ears.

my positive thought (#1 on the list?), I give love freely.

[Angie]

Sorry I missed your birthday! I hope it was a happy one. :)

[rubyslippers]

HAPPY BDAY GIRL!! Hope it was a good one! I love this poem so much--I give it to my girlfriends on their birthdays to remind them of how special they are. It is so honoring of the feminine. The book is amazing too. Here's to 39! You wear it well my dear, you are young, vibrant, and a joy to know on the big blogosphere of life.

[monika]

39?? Typo!! Dont you mean 29? Hell, lookatcha! xo xo Monika

[mccabe]

happy birthday you sweet sexy thang!!!
be your own best friend.
love. wow.

yes
yes
yes

(the world whispers to you today)

xoxoxoxoxo
mccabe