closing doors so that new ones may open

new directions ~ canon digital rebel xt

i write this bundled up in blankets, a box of tissues nestled close by my side and my thoughts running in a million directions. so please, excuse the foggy dialogue. i picked up a nasty cold last week while in texas and while i will go on record to say that being sick while pregnant is no picnic, i have witnessed great kindness as 2007 came to a close.

truth be told, the funniest part of our austin trip was that we never even made it to austin. we missed our outgoing flight (due to a gate mixup ~ and flights being ridiculously oversold) and flew out two days later where we traveled straight to jimmy's parent's for christmas, who are in southern texas.

while enjoying ourselves in jimmy's childhood home, jimmy's mother, sister, and four of the comadres held a baby shower for me the day after christmas. thirty members of their tribe, the majority of whom i have never met, showed up to shower me with congratulations and gifts for the newest de la Rosa tribe member. can you imagine thirty strangers happily showing up to celebrate the arrival of your new baby? in a way, i suppose it's not unlike what happens here in our blogging community except for that reading someones thoughts and words does connect you without physically meeting. all these people know of me is that i am married to jimmy, their comadre's son. i was overwhelmed by their kindness. overwhelmed. southern hospitality is certainly unlike that which is found in southern california, that is for sure.

after saying our goodbyes, we drove to stay with our friends who live in lake travis ~ located just outside austin. jimmy and i threw a dinner party for some friends and i caught my icky bug right after that. it's been a nasty one that just won't go away, and i spent my final few days in texas bundled up in blankets in bed, never once making it to austin. i will say being pregnant while sick has a few advantages: i have been pampered the entire time by our friends with warm baths, plenty of back massages, hdtv, tons of juices and teas, hugs and jimmy's famous healing chicken soup once we arrived home. i know, i know, enjoy it now because it won't be like this once the baby arrives. {wink}

during this time, i had plenty of moments to contemplate some of  what i wish to accomplish this new year. to be sure, 2007 was a year of huge transition, growth and healing for me which brought many blessings as well. i want to give thanks to 2007 for further opening up this amazing blogging community to me, which i believe has saved me in many ways. i have been blessed with new, powerful soul friendships through blogging as well as deepening those close friendships that i had prior to blogging. i started a business in 2007 (a lifelong dream) and happily discovered in july that i was blessed with my third pregnancy. the one pregnancy that looks as if might just result in our first child, a gift i am blissfully thankful for each day.

as i was counting my blessings as 2007 was coming to a close, i realized that i want to manifest more of this goodness for 2008. here is where things get tricky because i am also starting to realize that to manifest certain dreams to come into our lives, we sometimes need to let go, and close some doors on some other areas to allow those new dreams to flourish.

as a soon-to-be new mom (one of these days i will be able to write that without freaking out), one of the ways i hope to teach our child is by example. my wish is not for her to do as i say, not as i do. my wish is for her to see her parents living their dreams so that she will truly know she can accomplish whatever it is she sets her mind to, and to know her dreams will be supported by us. i believe she is lucky because she will be raised by two people who are in a very loving, respectful relationship. but i also want her to know that she has a pretty artsy, creative mama (and papa) and while i feel there are many years i let the artistic, creative side of me fall by the wayside, it would break my heart for her to think that her mama never did anything to remedy that.

all this to say, i feel this is the time to start paying attention to the new directions that are calling out to me. there is some new, positive change and growth that i am working towards for 2008 and beyond.

one is the new direction of clover & sage.

catering has been really amazing for me and has allowed me to understand that i can excel creatively when i put my mind to it. designing menus, making people swoon when they taste my food, and helping to create successful events helps me to understand that it is about finding meaningful work and that life truly is too short not to do what you love.

i used to struggle thinking that "meaningful work" was about saving  the world, or finding cures for diseases, therefore already thinking i would never be good enough and had already failed. that is until i realized, as my oh-so-wise friend michelle once stated, "the world needs your voice and your vision". now i clearly see that finding meaningful work is about making your heart sing, following your inner passions, sharing your vision with the world, and touching someone's life with what you do. we all have this inside us and it is our job to discover it, nurture it and see it to fruition, whatever your it may be.

while catering has been amazing for me, jimmy and i have decided to work together to take the vision of this business in an entirely new direction. our dream has always been to work with food in some capacity and we realized early one morning a couple months ago that we both saw clover & sage as a brand, a label to bring our vision and love of natural, artisanal food into the world. around november, we started to work with a distributor and are now set to soft launch some artisanal, organic salts as a sort of test run and to get some feedback. that is what those photos above are all about, we have been busy bees around here.

from there, our goal is to play with some infused salts, herbs and non-perishable items, eventually moving into perishable items (an organic baby food line?) and since we are grabbing the brass ring with this one, an eventual clover & sage cookbook. because i can clearly visualize all of this, i am booking a few sessions with a life coach to keep me on track, accountable and hopefully talk me off the ledge and quiet that voice when need be. you know that voice, the one that says things like, "are you high? who do you think you are trying to take on something so huge? those types of dreams are for others, not you." it's time to ban that voice.

there will be a website coming soon where we will have an online store, share recipes, a newsletter, giving back to the community, etc. all under the clover & sage label. there will also be a blog.

which brings me to this blog and closing a big door.

i started schmoopy on a whim. it was/is a much needed outlet which soon turned into a way for me to excavate the creativity that was itching to get out of me as well as became my therapy. so much has happened personally since i started writing here two years ago, and as all things in life, new roads begin to open and life happens.

the thing is, schmoopy no longer seems the right place to chronicle the next chapter of my life ~ motherhood.

because my wish is to chronicle both the early years of my daughter's life along with the re-birth of my own creativity, i feel like it belongs in a brand new space, one that is dedicated to focusing on being both a mother and a woman and all the twists and turns that are sure to come along with the journey. i am afraid this space just doesn't feel like the right home for this next chapter.

so, it is with all of this, and with many mixed emotions, that i will soon be closing the familiar door here that is schmoopy and spreading my wings into the great unknown. it's been an amazing ride.

while clover & sage is something jimmy and will be exploring together, i realize i still need my own creative outlet which is where my etsy store comes into focus. yes, i realize that i am insane by launching two new projects and raising a newborn, but the timing also seems so right and meant to be. my expectation for all of this is not perfectionism in these pursuits, it's more about the journey. my goal for 2008 is to be in a place with both of these pursuits to financially be able to leave the corporate world forever and once and for all be my own creative boss.

my etsy boutique will be called sweet jane studio which will be my little area of the internet to share my designs with the world. it won't be fully open until the summer time as there is a lot of work to still be done, but part of my new blog will also be chronicling the launching of a new business since i know part of the fear of launching a new project for many of us is actually making that first scary leap off the cliff. especially with a baby in your arms, but still knowing that somehow the net will appear.

of course now the fear has shifted. for me, the fear is no longer about taking the leap, but what happens if i don't take the leap. where will that leave me? that thought is far more scary to me. perhaps getting to that place is the first step to finding your wings.

but i will say this leap is due to those of you who already have already found your wings and have opened successful etsy businesses, or any business, of your own. you are all my glitter-filled muses. being surrounded by creative kindreds makes it easier to see the net and find my wings. so to those of you ~ you know who you are ~ thank you. you are my daily inspiration.

we still are determining a launch date for the clover & sage website; however, my new creative mama blog (name still tbd) will debut march 1. because i need this precious time to get to work, there will no longer be long, meandering posts written here. however, i did want to use the last couple months here to leave on a graceful, inspirational note.

my beautiful friend jen, sent me the most lovely quote book last year simply and profoundly titled, be.

as often as i can, i will post a quote from the book (along with a photo taken with my new bad ass christmas lens) as a way for you and i both to keep that inspiration flowing for an unbelievable 2008. 

here is the first:

be proactive:

"whatever you are meant to do, move toward it and it will come to you."

~ Gloria Dunn

happy new year ~ may all your dreams come true in 2008.

Comments

[Athena714]

Wow, girl, big news, big changes!

I wish you only the best in all your endeavors. I know you will be a success, because you deserve it. And I know you will be happy, because you deserve it.

I will remember 2007 fondly because it was the year you became my friend. Here's to many more years!

xoxo

[amy]

thank you for sharing your news and lovely thoughts. it was just what i needed to read today. your creativity and bravery is inspiring. i wish all the very best with your delicious new adventures. take care.

[Thea]

Oh this post is so beautiful and cohesive and ....wow....just amazing. What a wonderful mama this baby girl has. And daddy too:)

I absolutely LOVE the new things you plan on doing this year. I think it is fabulous.

You are beauty and love and although I will miss Schmoopy I am going to love reading your new blog and website.

The packaging is terrific. It seems you are on your way.

I got a lot out of the life coaching. I hope you share about your expience as well.

Love you girl.
XOXOXOXO

[kristen]

You are such an inspiration Stacie - congratulations. I look forward to your etsy store (I've always been curious about those pretty salts) and even more so, your new mama blog.

All good things for you and Jimmy and your new bambini. xoxo

[megg]

BEST of luck, best wishes, good for you and PLEASE, keep us posted so we can find you again on March 1!!!!!!!

LOVE to you.

[PixieDust]

I am so excited for you and your family - Clover & Sage sounds exciting and beautiful.

I applaud you in following your dream and your heart - your girl is one lucky baby indeed.

(((HUGS))),
Love,
Me

[daisies]

:) i love all the positive energy that rests lightly dancing through words here ... i know that you are going to be incredibly successful in your business, your motherhood, your new beautiful life ... i know this because you are one of the most successful human beings i know, if success is judged by the beauty of our souls and the wisdom of our hearts.

your new lens rocks and get better soon love, chicken soup thoughts ... i love you ... xox

[Lizzie]

WOW! What an incredible post. So inspiring, just what I needed today. These first two days of the new year have been less than magical and full of angst (relationship issues, car problems), and before that with the rush of the holidays, I haven't had a moment to stop and focus on my goals for '08. Feeling behind on the 2nd day of the year is not good. But you, you are kicking ass and taking names and helping me feel like I have some control in all of this and to get into the space where I can harness my energy for good and positive things. I'll follow you wherever you go. Thanks and I'll look forward to all the new and exciting paths that lie ahead of you in '08.

[sueberry]

Wowie!! Well, this all sounds like wonderful news & a wonderful new set of adventures for you! BEST of luck, as always -- I know you will succeed at all that you try. Leap away, my fine feathered friend!!!! Not only will you have a net, but a great network of friends that are always here to catch you if you should stumble.

Knowing what your dreams are & being on your way to making them real is a wonderful thing. I still don't know what I wanna be when I grow up.....and at the ripe old age of 40, I had best take some inspiration from you & figure it out soon. ha ha ha!!! LOVE you lots & good luck in all that you do!
XOXO

[nicole]

Yay! Your artisan salts look gorgeous! I'm so happy for you and cheering you on in your creative endeavors! Your words about ending this blog and starting a new one are words I could have written myself. Those are the same reasons that led me to begin anew with my blogging as well. There is something about becoming a mother that has awakened a new part me. I guess besides birthing our beautiful new babes, we're birthing ourselves as mothers. Best wishes to you. Your daughter is very lucky to have you and Jimmy as parents! Happy 2008!
xoxo

[Scarlett]

HOW WONDERFUL! i'm so so happy for you! i completely understand this change for your new chapter, and we'll all be glued to the screen with all your lovely new-nesses!
2008 is really gonna be great!
best wishes!!
hugs!
xoxoxo
ps i hope you are feeling better!!!

[amanda lammon]

hi love!
i am so so thrilled to hear your news...and all the goodness that this upcoming year is sure to bring you!
soooo proud of you and anticipating your new sites!
sending you so much love and hope you are feeling better!
~a~

[ceanandjen]

Oh my goodness, just watch you make magic happen in your life! There is just so much goodness in this post and it makes my heart so incredibly happy for you and your little family unit. This year is going to bring so much beauty into your home. Your daughter, your businesses, the love that you and J share and will share with your daughter...you care creating the life you want and there is nothing more inspiring to watch than this.

You are amazing dear friend, and I can not wait to see the new chapters of your story unfold....no matter where you tell that story.

So much love....xoxoxoxo

[Megan]

Oh, Stacie! How exciting! And how gorgeous are those salts!!
When I stopped by here months and months ago and read a little, I kept coming back because I knew I had found someone special. You are special, and I'm so happy to be viewing the next phase!
I can't wait to see your new endeavors, but I will greatly miss your long posts, and I gain a little wisdom from each of them.
I'm looking forward to the new mommie blog, though. I think that's a perfect new start!

[Maddie]

i am so excited for your new shop and sweet jane
studio is perfect:)

wishing you a blessed and magical new year with your
little daughter and etsy and new blog!

(hugs)

[Tracy]

Stacie,
You constantly amaze and thrill me. I don't think I've ever met such a creative, wonderful, loving person. And I love the way you jump from one endeavor to another, waiting to find your perfect fit. It makes me think of my uncle, who we always jokingly say could never hold down a job for very long, and he's done pretty well, wouldn't you say? I see you achieving all your dreams with Jimmy and beautiful baby d.
Congratulations on the new phase of Clover & Sage!
Love you all so very much,
Tracy

[mccabe]

all big, beautiful, creative, sacred things coming your way.
i can clearly see each one as you describe it.
soooo exciting for you!!!

i believe in you,
and can already see a hint of
sunshine yellow wings (with gold glitter)
forming
behind your back.

i think you just took flight.

dream on,
mccabe x

[Kirsten Michelle]

i will follow wherever you lead, my beautiful friend.
2008 will be a magnificient year ;-)
hugs and healing...
hope you feel better soon!!!
xoxoxo

[boho girl]

everything about this post gave me goosebumps.

can't wait to see you very soon and experience it all in person.

so much goodness, beautiful and inspiration.

loving you,
denise

[d.]

It all sounds wonderful and I can't wait to see it all come to fruition. You are a source of love, light and inspiration for many and will no doubt have a most ardent admirer in your little girl.

Dream big dreams and keep your eye on the prize!! Best of luck and lots of love!

P.S. Those salts are GORGEOUS!!

[patricia]

hey schmoops, please keep me posted on your new digs and the debut of hope esperanza de la rosa...looking forward to the next door...xo...