worms, out of the open can

window display in my tree-hugging part of the world

I had a conversation last week with a couple of my family members that really threw me for a loop and has been heavy on my mind since. It started when one of them asked me who I was voting for next month, which I thought was pretty obvious, but I was the one in shock when they told me they were supporting McCain.

I am not one who thrives on conflict, and I adore my family, so I told them I didn't think we should have this conversation as it certainly couldn't go anywhere good. But questions kept getting asked and opinions were being thrown and I found myself just wanting to end it and go about our merry way.

This is where I am beating myself up. Because I backed down. Rather than using my voice to state my "whys" I ended the conversation by saying, "well, you know us California types, we are all just tree-hugging hippies around here." I am now kicking myself for saying this as an easy way out. I don't want to raise my daughter to be passive with anyone just to make nice, no matter who it is... even her father and I. 

I could have just called them back to continue the conversation but I realized this isn't even about them, it's about me, and all of us and using our voice and I think blogging gives us the power to do exactly that.

So, here is my voice: {no disclaimers}

I am proudly voting for Barack Obama in this upcoming election. I have never felt more confident about who I want to be our next president. I have felt this way for two years.

Here is why:

Let's take all the issues surrounding the economy and healthcare and abortion rights, etc., off the table for just a moment because not only is that an entirely different and much too lengthy discussion on a non-political blog, but I believe that no matter what both candidates want, they will be spending the majority of the next four years cleaning up the mess that is our current administration and all of these promises that all politicians make still need to pass through congress anyway, so I don't put a ton of weight on that, but here is the thesis of what is important to me and what I want in a president:

A strong and stable leader to represent our country who I, as an American, can be proud of and look up to.

When I watch the debates I see McCain and Palin do little more than bad mouth Obama, and I also see a very angry man who gets his feathers all ruffled every now and again. This frightens me. The last thing we need in office is an angry person. I know when I am upset or angry is when I start making really stupid, regrettable decisions. So it scares the bejeezers out of me when I see him become visibly upset during television appearances thinking that he may be making fear-based decisions while possibly serving as commander in chief.

When I see Obama, I see an eloquence that I haven't seen since Kennedy. I see a role model. I see people once again having hope and believing in change and loving him. I see a person who is strong, smart articulate and presidential. I see him staying calm under pressure and not becoming angry when someone disagrees with him.  I see his calmness, clarity and compassion in the eye of the storm. I see him bringing much-needed change.

When I think about Obama representing Americans in world issues with world leaders, my confidence is at ease. He is the man to do this, and with Joe Biden by his side, I think there will be plenty of schooling and cleaning of house. This is a good thing.

When I think of McCain and Palin working alongside these same world leaders, I cringe. I want to call my friends in other countries and say, "You know all Americans aren't like this, right?" I say this as an American, I am patriotic and there are many things I adore about this country. Though I will say that I feel we, indeed, are a country divided.

So, I truly don't understand when people say in this election they are voting for "the lesser of two evils" or that they are still undecided. I really don't.  The issues are out on the table, it's all out there plain as day. What's the hold-up?.

I realize that I sometimes tend to live in a bubble and would like to think that everyone just shares my same opinion, but I know that is not the case and am reminded of this when these types of discussions come up and unbelievable videos are passed around these here internets.

I truly want to understand why people support McCain and Palin in this election, which is why I had to get this out. Of course we are all entitled to our beliefs free of judgement but I am curious: Is it religion, race, party, relating to a hockey-mom with shiny hair, because you are buying into the crap about Obama being associated with a terrorist?

If you are supporting McCain & Palin in this election, and happen to come across my little blog, please, enlighten me with your reasons why,  I sincerely want to know and understand this.

Comments

[nikoline]

Here, here (and here!), sister! Beautifully said!

[Brandon]

I understand why you didn't make a big deal out of it at the moment. I am typically pleased as punch to debate with anyone, but sometimes, with family in particular, I think you might hesitate—not to avoid a conflict, but to avoid confronting the reality of your loved one's beliefs. You don't want to know that your favorite Aunt Petunia thinks that all "the gays" are going to hell, or that the poor are poor because they don't work hard enough, or whatever.

I fundamentally oppose almost everything that the GOP represents. But, I do see how one can be a principled conservative. I can understand how such a person might hold her nose and pull the lever for McCain/Palin. She doesn't want the Democrats to control the White House. I get that. I voted for Kerry in 2004.

The people who mystify me are the so-called conservatives who have gotten all fired up in support of McCain, a person whose record is the epitome of inconsistency, caprice, and spite. They didn't vote for him in 2000 but now he's the mavericky maverick real Americans have been waiting for. This is the same man who seriously considered running as John Kerry's running mate in 2004. If nothing else is clear, it is apparent that the only philosophical constant for John McCain is the ascendancy of John McCain. He believes in nothing more than himself.

He was happy to let the press create his cult of personality by obfuscating his voting record. His record is staunchly anti-choice. His record is consistently laissez faire in favor of big business. His willingness to gab with reporters on his bus may curry their favor, but it does not change who he is or what he's done while in Washington. The last eighteen months have shown that he will say and do just about anything to get elected. Let us not forget that this victim of torture even said it was okay to torture, but just a little bit.

As you say, the choice this year is crystal clear. I have little patience for those on the fence. If they don't already understand the differences between these two candidates, it's clear to me that they haven't been paying attention. If they don't care enough to have gathered the information necessary to see the choice, despite the fact that we've known since June that these are the two men who would be contesting this election, then I wish they would do the responsible thing and not vote.

Choice or state ownership of women's bodies.

The Constitution or a police state.

Ninety-five percent of the people or five percent.

Healthcare for all or insurance-company profits.

Equality or homophobia.

Sustainable energy or petrodictatorship extortion.

Calm, reasoned stewardship or hot-headed, reactionary winging it.

With the world or against the world.

The choice is ours and has never been clearer.

[stacy]

i
love
you,
Brandon!

[windylindy]

I am so conflicted about this election.

I think Obama is the person who can put this American on his shoulders and carry it.

My very humble opinion, however the path ahead will not be easy.

None of our paths have ever been easy.

MOM

[Jeanne]

I can't help you here, Stacie. The McCain/Palin ticket scares the crap out of me. A wonderful lady I like to call friend has a blog (www.janedevin.com) - she has just written a series on poverty in this country. It is a depressing, heartfelt and a well-written read. She completely echoes my thoughts on how America cannot endure another 4 years of the GOP but she is much more eloquent in her process. The above is not a plug but a reference I wanted to share.

And, I agree with you. Sometimes those conversations with family are just not healthy to continue and it is not always about backing down. Hugs.

[sueberry]

Can't enlighten you one bit as I support Obama. I agree with everything you had to say about McCain, not to mention he appears very frail & it scares me more he could croak in office & leave us with Ms. Hockey Mom Palin in her Valentino suits. No thanks. We have enough troubles here already. The stock market is in its worst shape in a LONG time, we have soldiers away from their families at war with a country we have no business being in, housing is terrible, banks & businesses are folding, and the list goes on!!

I never like getting into political discussions with family, friends or co-workers. Others don't generally agree with me & that's fine. BUT, for this election, like you, I think the answer is clear as day, so when I hear anyone saying they would vote for McCain, I just cringe. While I do think the man seems to have a decent sense of humor at times, overall, he seems like a Bush sequel & I, for one, will take a pass on that!

I don't like the mud-slinging & I applaud Obama for always keeping a constant cool head. He always comes off with class & decency, no matter what he is saying and I don't think we have seen that in this country in a long time. GO OBAMA, GO!!!!
xoxo

[megan]

Stacie, while I support Obama, nearly 2/3 of my family/friends supports McCain. Most of the time I react like you did at your families house. Quietly. If there is one thing I have learned over the years, it is that politics and religion are as much a personal decision as anything else, and there's probably not much I could say in the moment to sway them any differently. My hope's are that they will see my side because I'm not shoving it down their necks. That in my quietness, they will listen. There are 2 members of my husbands family who actually believe Obama is a terrorist! I can't argue with that. Not because I have no defense, but because you can't argue with crazy. You just can't. It is pointless and dangerous. These are not people that I can remove from my life, so I have resigned myself to make little comments, like "I don't believe that", or "you should really have some hard proof before you say that. isn't that bearing false witness against your neighbor?", or my new personal favorite response, "Do you really think George would allow a terrorist to serve in the Senate?"

It's so hard.

I do have one friend who is a rational McCain supporter. She truly believes in his policy and his heart. She supports McCain, not because she hates Obama, but because she believes in McCain. I guess I'm ok with that. I don't get it, I don't understand it, but at least it is something real and tangible. It is a difference of opinion and not reality vs. fiction. She also can not get past the abortion issue, which is another, that while I completely disagree with her, at least it is a real emotion, a real belief based on something that she knows in her heart to be real. How can I deny her that and expect to be given the same respect? I have to. I hear a lot of shouting about beliefs and let me believe my way, but it HAS to be a two way street or we are no better...

You know, and that is one of the BIGGEST reasons I support Obama. I have seen him, read his eyes, felt like I really could hear his heart when he is confronted with something he doesn't agree with. He never tries to take that belief away from the other person, or even try to "convince" them of his "rightness", but he doesn't keep quiet either. How does he manage that, I would love to know!! LOL!

OBAMA ROCKS!!

[amy]

i am very happy to be an australian but as a concerned citizen of the world, a student of politics and a believer that people can do truly amazing things when we create the right kinds of environments i really, really wish i could vote for Obama.

[Jeanette]

New fan of your blog (and your beautiful, beautiful jewelry).

I couldn't have said it better. I'm a Canadian and can't vote, although I've lived here for almost 10 years - but I'm trying to do my part, as minor as it may be through a small grassroots movement
http://noon102.blogsome.com

Obama '08!
Jeanette

[jenica]

i've been loving obama since i heard him speak in 2001. he's HONEST, when he's questioned about his voting record he brings it right out and discusses it. i appreciate that about a person.

i'm an independent in a sea of staunch republicans. republicans that truly believe they can't trust obama, that he's a muslim, etc etc etc.

even colin powell knows what's up. what does that say?

brave you.
xoxo

[jenica]

and those videos scare the crap out of me. what is wrong with people!??!

[stacy]

jeanne ~ thanks for the link. i have been reading.

megan ~ thank you for sharing. i completely respect the opinion that people are voting for the person they truly believe in. what i am not understanding, and am trying to clear up for myself, are those that perhaps are voting for McCain just because perhaps they don't want Obama, or democrats, in the White House. I am curious where that is stemming from and would love for someone to tell me. I resonate with what you are saying.

jeanette ~ you rock! i love what you are doing with your grassroots movement and i would love to help.

[jessica]

brave and strong post...proud of you...

[Anon Today]

I have left this page and come back several times, each time not sure exactly what to say. I respect your decision and applaud your strength in stating, unequivocally, what you believe.

I've got to say, though, that your original post left me feeling much the same way I imagine you felt with your family.

I am an economist by trade and an artist by heart. This election has been tough for me because I have felt very personally judged for what my choices in the voting booth will be.

I am voting for McCain.

Contrary to what it appears many people think that says about me, I am not basing my decision on bigotry, ignorance, or a fascination with Sarah Palin's shiny hair. I don't think Obama is a terrorist.

I believe very strongly in personal responsibility, limited government, and capitalism - these are the primary drivers in my decision.

I am not a registered Republican. Although if forced to put a label on myself, I'd choose Libertarian over Democrat.

I am embarrassed when I'm around other creative people and they rant about how they think people that would vote for McCain are stupid. They make fun of people like Joe the Plumber for being WalMart-loving, fat kid raising, rednecks.

I have a PhD. I am am a well-traveled, thoughtful person ... a mom, even ... who has made a decision based on what I feel is the right thing for my family and for the country I adore. I made that decision with love, not hate.

[stacy]

anon ~

thank you so much for posting your thoughts. it was never my intention to judge people for their votes, but only to understand. i am truly sorry if you feel judged in your circles. i have also felt judged for my choices as well, so for me to do so just makes me part of the problem.

this post isn't about my family, or people who are making an educated decision about what feels right for them. it's about me having a moment of weakness and NOT using my voice and desperately trying to understand those who, perhaps, are making a decision based on fear or hate. it is also a reminder that we all have a voice and should use it.

i did not vote for bush in either of the last two elections, but four years ago i sat in my living room drunkity drunk drunk by myself (self-destructive, I know) because i saw the writing on the wall, and now i am just very curious how four more years of the GOP will be any different and if people voting for McCain think it will.

i am sincere in my request for understanding, so i thank you again for your thoughts.

stacy

[me-nikk]

"A strong and stable leader to represent our country who I, as an American, can be proud of and look up to."

Amen, amen and Amen sistah!

I have been so disappointed that not more of the women I read blogging haven't stepped up to this plate and shared a serving themselves. This by far is the most important election in our generation. I am with you and behind your every word here and so are so many others. Those who both speak and those wh hide their voices somewhere inside.

I am also so very proud of you to speak up and out. We need more of this in the most respectable of all opinions and loving of ways. If we don't let our own voices be heard... well just shame on us. We listen to others. But we to have beautiful voices.

Sing beautiful bird, sing your hearts song!

xo

me-nikk

[reddawn]

Hey Stacie,

Even though the results of this election are incredibly important (Obama 08), I think what is even more amazing is your realization regarding finding your voice. Even if you didn't express your opinion to your family in person, you've done it beautifully and eloquently here which is perhaps even more powerful. And in addiiton you recognize the importance of being a strong role model to Bella, setting a positive example for her and how she can have her own inner voice in the future. That is wonderful and exciting!

And it is also so exciting to watch you all bring up such a beautiful, happy baby. I just wish I was closer to take more of a part.

Hugs and kisses to all three of you!
Dawn

[Eileen Weigand]

Your post is so brave and I applaud your sincerity. I have many opinions on this topic, but first it must be known that I am totally voting for Obama, voted for Kerry and voted for Gore before that, so I have been in relative "hell" for a while now.
I am a sociology graduate student at VPI&SU who studies the environment and gender as my areas of interest, but the social world in its broadest view. We need Obama- the rich keep getting richer and the poor get poorer. Economists will tell you that, so I am still uncertain as to why people are voting for McCain. Greed and fear of paying any taxes are 2 possible reasons, but these could be guesses.

I did take some time out of studying to canvas for Obama last Saturday. I live in VA, I was given a list of undecideds and I was scared- it's heated around here. Happily, though I'll tell you the majority of people I talked to were voting for Obama. Only 2 were voting for McCain. It seemed those voting with McCain were voting for "their issues." Better said, they were voting for what the candidate would do for them personally. I, on the other hand feel much like the Native American author on Stephen Colbert the other night, I'm voting for the best interests of my country. Now, if a member of a group such as the Native Americans can make this decision, after everything they've been through, then I have little more to say about the McCain/ Palin supporters.
Yes, we can!!