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« yin yang | Main | Vegan Wednesday ~ White Bean Cassoulet with Tempeh & Shallot Confit »

July 18, 2010


Susan S.

My second son just arrived last Tuesday, so these are brand new questions for me. But so, so needed. Thank you for a lovely post.


Lovely words. Thank you.


Both of mine are mostly grown. 17 and 20. Although my first brought me unconditional love, my second brought me many more lessons on patience and truly seeing your child. He forced me to from the moment he took his first breath. As a mother, the second birth and baby gave me the confidence I needed to stumble through the wee years. It all goes so fast, enjoy...


With my first, I was so so anxious. I'd not ever really been around babies/children, so I had no clue on the practicalities, or what to expect. Everything was a learning curve and I was very guided by other people. With my second, I went with my instincts, did what I wanted to do, mothered in a natural, attached way. And so enjoyed the journey. Turned out, I didn't need the advice, and that an instinctive and attached way of mothering is perfect for me and my family. Indeed I curse the people who told me to have a sleep schedule, to "not spoil" my first with too much carrying, co-sleeping etc. And I've loved ignoring all that advice this time round and producing a contented, delightful, happy and secure child.

Also, with my first I knew I had to return to work, so my time was always measured, and bitter sweet as it was always hanging over me that I would have to separate from him and leave. Knowing that I am and can always be here for both of them now has added to my enjoyment, my being able to be fully present for my second child.


I can hold two kids at one time and eat cereal, I can now pick things up with my toes that I never would've tried before, I can get dressed with one hand. :) Now on the serious side.. With my second child I have this amazing confidence, confidence that I didn't know existed. My second baby has taught me patience and understanding! I now don't feel the need to have to read a book to tell me how to mother, I have my own definition, and I like it! Babies are such an amazing gift that open us up to the people we really are!!


With my first one, I was very laid back in as far as no schedules, just letting things happens as they wanted to, and when I had my 2nd one, I felt more rushed because I had to do other things, get the 1st one off to school, etc. But as weird as it is to say, I am more laid back as far as things go. My 1st one would pitch a fit in a store? I'd get totally embarrassed. The 2nd one? "Yea, go ahead and look. Yes, I know, she's pitching a fit. You want to try? Go for it, I've got to get things done and get home" LOL! But my 2nd one is also a much different spirit than my 1st one and I have to adjust accordingly. I do love EVERY milestone that each one is going through and I savor it. I don't yearn for the days when they were babies. I embrace the teenage years, puberty for the 2nd one in a few years. Never look back. Enjoy the time of here and now.

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