star lights in Mia and Isabella's room
I was sitting in the middle of a crowded playground a few days ago feeding Mia. Jimmy had taken Isabella to ride on the train and I was surrounded by noise. Obviously living in a large city means I can't escape this external noise and even in a city as wide open and vast as Los Angeles, it can feel a bit claustrophobic at times.
Mia is very sensitive to sound and was having a hard time relaxing into our normally peaceful feeding time even though she loves being outdoors and feeling the breeze on her skin. To soothe her, I tried to shift my energy by closing my eyes and focusing on my breathing as a means to relax us both.
While in this state I had a vision of myself being quiet and still while movement was in fast moving film all around me. Conversations, laughter, helicopters, traffic, children screaming and live music all competing to be heard at once, visually represented in swirling, blurry, primary colors in motion.
I don't even know why I am sharing this story really. I suppose it got me thinking about how I am craving softness and breathing space in so many areas of my life.
I am deep in the process of redefining the space in our home for as long as we remain here. Turning it over, upside down and shaking it all out as a means to welcome deep breathing, imagination, flow and play. This same redefining of space is also something I am craving to create in my work, creativity and my blog as well... turning it all over, upside down and shaking it out to reveal an aesthetic that is more authentically in alignment with who I am.
The vision I have always had for this space is one of expression, connection, healing and the journey of rediscovering the artist within me and giving her wings. This blog was born out of being so out of focus that I just needed an outlet as a way out. My favorite spaces tend to be those that incorporate clean and simple design with a focus on raw and natural beauty, connection and personal expression. I strive for this in my own spaces (here, and in my home) but notice that I can easily fill my spaces with noise and clutter and find myself with no room to breathe. When I do this I find myself out of focus with my deepest desires and intentions.
As part of this redefining of space one of the things I am releasing is Vegan Wednesday. It was a fun idea but if I am being truthful it doesn't fit in the bigger dream I have. Even though I just started this series, I was quickly starting to resent the time it was taking from some other areas I want to nurture.
Part of the larger dream for me is structuring my life in such a way that I am able to fill it with only those things which connect me with peace, joy and a deep sense of contribution and fullfillment, and releasing the rest - a continuous experiement in trying on what works and what doesn't.
I don't mean this to sound overly dramatic and I am not saying goodbye to sharing recipes altogether on my blog, after all food = connection to me, but am just trying to create more space in my life for things to happen a bit more organically, authentically and from a place of feeling inspired rather than from a place of self-imposed obligation.
We are all given the same amount of hours in each day and I am simply adjusting how I use my time. How do you create breathing space in your life?