"Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength, while loving someone deeply gives you courage.” - Loa Tzu
In years past, Valentine's day usually goes mostly unnoticed around here. Jimmy and I have never bought into the idea of a specific day reminding us to be romantic but what I find myself doing today is thinking about and celebrating love. Love in all it's forms.
This November marks our tenth year of marriage (fourteen years of togetherness) ~ a milestone I am wanting to celebrate all year in various ways.
Like any relationship our love has changed, grown, ebbed, flowed and shifted through the years. The addition of two girls in our lives has changed our focus and put a damper on things that I used to view as romantic.... dinners at nice restaurants, weekend getaways, dancing in the rain, lazy mornings lounging in bed, handwritten love letters, two tickets to that thing I love... you get the idea.
Through sleepless nights, diaper changes and money struggles my perception of romance was that it had all but become a memory in our marriage. But when I really think about it I see that I am wrong in living in that mindset. The more I open my eyes to what we do have as a couple, I am able to clearly see that nothing has died, it's only shifted.
Hearts and flowers and candles and chocolate and restaurants are all lovely ways to celebrate a day like today, but what makes my heart truly melt is all the little ways that Jimmy shows me how much he loves me... By secretly putting camera apps on my phone that he thinks I will enjoy - By cooking amazing meals for me just so he can see me smile - By telling me I'm beautiful even when I have been wearing the same outfit for three days in a row and my hair has all but dreaded itself naturally - By taking the day off of work when I'm sick without my even asking him to - By putting gas in my car, and even sometimes having it washed, whenever he takes it somewhere. All of these are now the stuff of which my new definition of romance is made of.
I don't claim to have any answers on what makes a marriage work because I have none and am probably the world's most imperfect wife. But what I do know is that after all these years we still make each other laugh harder then anyone else, we accept every part of each other unconditionally and we just really, really like each other as people.
He sees past my flaws, my crazy ideas, my messy moments and embraces them all.
He loves me.
I love him.
And knowing this reminds me that this kind of unconditional love (whether it cultivates through a partner, a friend or self) is where I find my courage and strength to be freely and openly messy, and crazy and flawed.
... and that's pretty damned romantic.
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Speaking of love... I am honored to be have a post up on Darrah Parker's blog. You can see my Slice of Life post here.
yes, yes he does. His eyes twinkle when your name is mentioned.....and he gets a special smile. And, I heart you both! I learn from you. xxoo
Posted by: Jeanne | February 14, 2011 at 01:50 PM
you just made me cry. :*)
Posted by: Tina | February 14, 2011 at 01:51 PM
Yes! Beautiful post. Thank you.
Posted by: Catherine | February 14, 2011 at 07:04 PM
So beautiful. Thank you for sharing this. It was a great reminder that romance still exists (in my life, too), but it manifests in more subtle and often deeper ways. THANK YOU.
Posted by: darrah parker | February 15, 2011 at 11:07 AM
now this...THIS...is a tribute to love that overpriced flowers and crappy chocolates can't touch. :-)
Posted by: brandi | February 15, 2011 at 05:14 PM
Way to go,love what you said...besides i think they take away from the holidays with it being so commercialized.Live life simply and with love,thanks again....
Posted by: Tina | February 17, 2011 at 03:23 AM