stepping into possibility

Isabella directing and choreographing her first stage show about faeries - children step into possibility in the most natural ways.

I recently attended a burlesque workshop. But this post is not about the experience of taking that class. The story there is short: the workshop itself was awful - a full bait and switch routine. Due to this I left early and didn't return for the second workshop. The end.

What this post is about is the myth of comfort zones. When I signed up for the class I also posted on Facebook about how I was stepping way outside of my comfort zone by doing this. Immediately after I wrote this I felt a strange something in my belly. Something about those words comfort zone just didn't ring true.

We hear this and similar phrases so much that they have a way of becoming part of a vocabulary that we haven't defined for ourselves. So I asked myself if that was what I was doing - was I stepping out of my own life somehow? Disconnecting myself from it in some way? Is that even possible to do? What is a comfort zone anyway?

The more I thought about it, the more I knew that signing up and taking this class wasn't about stepping out of my comfort zone at all. Yes, it was something different than my norm, yet in some ways not at all out of character for me. I didn't do it thinking I would somehow become a burlesque dancer in my forties, I did it simply to say that I tried it. I thought perhaps it would be a fun way to tap into my sexy again after birthing my babies and a funny experience to look back on years from today. Yes, I was secretly hoping that not everyone there would be a Beyonce look-alike dressed like Dita Von Teese and the bodies to match, but I surrendered to the fact that if they were, so be it.

To imply to myself that I was stepping out of something comfortable would be to say that I had somehow cocooned myself into a false sense of what comfort is. A zone filled with limits and padding and fear and protection and a false sense of security and closed off to new experience. One that wasn't open to adventure or saying yes or expansion or life. No, this wasn't me at all and my definition of a comfort zone wasn't at all comforting. There have been times when I have retreated to that uncomfort zone, but not now.

I am not this person... and I bet neither are you.

I realized that by doing this I wasn't stepping out of anything, but rather stepping into possibility. Whether it was signing up for this class, (or submitting a class proposal, organizing a retreat, sending that email), I was simply expanding my space and welcoming opportunities for growth and experience. This is something we all do, each morning, just by getting dressed, walking out the door and being open to what the day will bring.

If you want to see stepping into possibility in action just take some time to observe how children play, discover and explore their surroundings. After observing my own girls daily I see that possibility is something they step into naturally, and that comfort zones only exist in our minds.

Once I realized that I wasn't stepping outside of anything by taking this class but rather stepping into possibility, the funny feeling in my belly calmed and the bigger picture became quite clear. Our whole lives are about stepping into possibility as a pathway to growth and expansion and we get to choose which steps we take.

Yes, sometimes stepping into possibility may feel uncomfortable, but there is nothing comfortable about creating false boundaries with no space to grow either. We don't disconnect from our lives by stepping out of it to grow, we step more fully into our lives which makes us more whole. I am therefore striking the words comfort zone from my vocabulary and embracing all the possibility I am stepping into.  I think some fun new shoes are in order for the remainder of the journey.

Curious as to what areas of possibility you are stepping into?

Comments

[Steph]

I really like this. Thank you. : )

[Betsy]

I felt this tug at my heart.

New experiences and possibilities are
all around me. I am currently looking at
colleges for next year.. and none of them
are in state! I will be all on my own soon,
creating a new chapter for self discovery!

[latisha]

muah! perfect. i want to run and hide from open doors of 'uncomfort' right now. just right in these life moments as i type. but you are so spot on.

we are always in choice. choosing to step out or step in. better to be for something than against it. stepping up and in right with you sister, wobbly legs and knock knees and all.

[pixie]

I love what you've said here, and what you've experienced, sister. You are absolutely not adverse to adventure. What I think of most when I think of you, is "Bring IT".
Thank you for being a voice of empowerment.

New shoes for the journey ahead is always a good idea. It's the very first thing I do for myself when I'm kicking it into gear and taking a risk, I even dream about them!

To possibility!

(and why can't I Facebook "like" this post?)

[Brittany]

yes! i understand this on so many levels. i'm at a place in life right now where i think "open" is my word. trying to let many paths present themselves to me, and then choose one with acceptance instead of fear. great post!

[Lis]

I love these kinds of posts ... causing me to sit back in my chair and stare into the middle distance, questioning and redefining things for myself ...

For me, the process feels like a spiral movement and comfort zone may be that place where we rest - the pause between the inhale and the exhale - but we cannot live in a pause. There has to be a movement out again- the spiraling forth - followed by a drawing back in and integrating before being ready to step out again. Perhaps the journey is to continually expand our "comfort zones" until we recognize just by being ourselves we are comfort AND infinite potential/change/process. Okay ... too much staring with coffee added ...

and I continue to find myself exhaling and stepping forward ... especially as a mother!
xo Lis

[Maree]

I hate the phrase "comfort zone" too. Too often it's a restriction someone else places on me, like "You need to step outside of your comfort zone to find a man" (which also suggests I can't be comfortable without a man which is not the truth for me at all!). But does that mean I need to be uncomfortable? That I need to force myself to do something I'm not comfortable with just because I think that's who I should be, or someone else thinks that's how I should be?

As you say, I much prefer to be open to be possibilities. Thank you for this post, it really resonated with me. :)