Bella Wish

winter treats

Today was Isabella's last day of school for winter break. To celebrate the holidays all the kids performed a play and we had a party afterward. The rain kept us indoors most of the morning but seeing it all come together after a couple weeks of some pretty entertaining rehearsals was another reminder how grateful I am that we have found such a beautiful space for her to explore and discover in a safe and nurturing environment.

These were taken with my iPhone and you can see by the blurriness that it was all just a flurry of activity. I had to giggle because with the exception of having her face painted, Isabella could not have been less interested in being part of the play at all, preferring to play with the trains while her older friends were performing their parts. But when the singing and music began she was suddenly a dizzying tornado of smiles, twirls, joy and laughter.

It was awesome.

Speaking of awesome, I made Coffee Fudge Brownies for the party. The recipe is from The Kind Diet and I couldn't believe how good they were. I didn't think anyone would actually eat them since they are vegan but I found that whenever I would mention that they were vegan the reply was always, "Really??! I just ate like six of them."

I barely made it out the door without people grabbing extras and even Jimmy who was a bit hesitant at first ate about four once he tried them. These are super moist, rich, decadant and about fourteen other kinds of yum.

I didn't put the walnuts in because I am a freak who doesn't like the combo of nuts and chocolate. However, I did use almond milk and doubled the recipe.

COFFEE FUDGE BROWNIES

For the brownies:
3/4 cup whole-wheat pastry flour
3/4 cup brown rice flour
1/2 cup unsweetened cocoa powder
1 teaspoon baking powder
1 1/2 teaspoons baking soda
1 teaspoon salt
1 1/2 cups maple sugar (I used organic sugar and a splash of maple syrup)
3/4 cup soy/rice milk blend (or any nondairy milk)
3/4 cup brewed decaf coffee
1/2 cup canola oil
1/2 cup walnuts, toasted and chopped

For the glaze:
1 1/2 cups grain-sweetened, nondairy chocolate or carob chips
1/2 cup Earth Balance (or other vegan) butter

Heat the oven to 325 degrees. Oil an 8- or 9-inch-square baking pan.
In a large bowl, sift together both flours, the cocoa powder, baking powder, baking soda and salt. Stir in the maple sugar.
In a separate bowl, stir together the milk, coffee and oil. Add the wet ingredients to the dry ingredients, and stir to mix well.
Stir in the walnuts, then pour the batter into the prepared pan. Bake for 25 to 30 minutes, or until a toothpick inserted at the center comes out clean.
Place the pan on a wire rack to cool completely.
Once the brownies have cooled, prepare the glaze.
In a small saucepan or double boiler bring about 1 inch of water to a boil. Set a stainless steel bowl over it.
Add the chocolate chips and butter to the bowl and stir until melted and smooth.
Pour the warm glaze over the entire pan of brownies, smoothing it over the surface.
Chill until the glaze has set, about 1 hour.

Today was a delicious start to our winter break.

regale*

{click on photo to enlarge}

Small cheer and great welcome makes a merry feast ~ William Shakespeare

hipstamatic produce

 

if you are what you eat, and you eat colorful produce, does that make you a rainbow?

Vegan Wednesday ~ Hummus with two snaps and a twist

I love starter dishes. They are my favorite part of any meal and are usually more interesting to me than an entree with side dishes. On the rare occassions when we go out to eat, Jimmy and I will often just order a variety of different starters and share everything. It's my favorite way to eat.

Who doesn't love finger foods? They are fun, usually easy to throw together, allow me to eat while holding a baby and oftentimes are exactly what is needed at the end of a long day, glass of wine already in hand.

Whenever I think of the film Mermaids, I think of that line Charlotte Flax says near the beginning: A word about Mrs. Flax and food: the word is "hors d'oeurves." Fun Finger Foods is her main source book and it's all the woman cooks.

I laugh everytime I think of Cher's character in that movie when it comes to feeding her family. I often wonder if that will end up being me when my girls are older and I am still serving them fun finger foods for us all to share.

So while this dip isn't a meal at all, or even that interesting of a starter to be honest, I will somewhat embarassingly admit that I would eat this dolloped on toasted crostini, perhaps even crowned with a pine nut or two if I had any, arranged on a fun platter along with whatever raw veggies might be around and happily call it dinner for myself.

There are dozens of starter dishes I love and make. The reason I am sharing this particular dip is simply because I needed to use what I had already here and I wanted something easy and quick. I was thinking initially that I wanted to use white beans as I usually make a similar dip using cannelini beans and parsley, but since I had neither one of those ingredients on hand, but rather some lovely micro-greens and a can of chick peas, this essentially became a hummus with a bit of a kick.

I love how greens make me feel so I am always looking for new ways to get them into my body. The key here is to really kick up the garlic and lemon juice otherwise the greens will make this dip too bitter.  I'm not usually drawn to spicy foods, but when I was tasting the hummus it needed something and the tabasco sauce was definitely it. Its job is more about rounding out the flavors rather than turning up the heat.

As an added bonus, this is a great way to serve a bit of greens to those who normally shy away from them.

Hummus with two snaps and a twist
1 can garbanzo beans, partially drained
2 cloves garlic
2 Tablespoons tahini
juice from one lemon
a few shakes of Tabasco sauce
a healthy handul of micro greens
1-2 Tablespoons extra virgin olive oil
kosher salt to taste

Place all ingredients except for olive oil into a food processor. Turn on processor and drizzle olive oil through the top until and continue to process until pureed. Taste and adjust flavors to your liking. I usually drizzle more olive oil on top because I like it that way, but it's certainly optional.

Serve with toasted baguette that has been rubbed with garlic and drizzled with olive oil and a sprinkling of oregano, toasted pita chips or whatever raw veggies you have on hand.

Vegan Wednesday ~ Blueberry Lavender Nirvana

Lavender syrup aka "the precious"

I recently received the book Market-Fresh Mixology: Cocktails for Every Season as a gift from my sister-in-law. At first I wasn't sure if I would use it because I am not much of a cocktail person - when I drink it's usually a glass of wine. But as I flipped through the pages I soon realized this was the perfect cocktail book for me. The combination of seasonal fruits, veggies and herbs looks so yummy and fresh. Each new photograph and recipe is serious cocktail erotica.

A few weeks ago a friend of a friend of a friend reached out to me on Facebook. It turns out she and I live in the same neighborhood and both have two children close in age. We decided to meet and because meeting over the internet can seem a bit like blind dating, I also had a perfect excuse to try one of these so we could have our own form of happy hour. Turns out we are well on our way to starting a weekly tradition of indulging in a mama cocktail while playdating.

The first juicy drinks we made were Blueberry Lavender Mojitos. Hello! They had me at lavender. I am a girl with a major crush on all things lavender. Lavender soap, lavender candles, lavender shortbread, lavender jelly, lavender ice cream... you get the point.

I wanted to bathe in these cocktails they were so good. We enjoyed these while watching our children play into the sunset and toasting to new friendships.

Lavender syrup is now a staple in my kitchen. Not only because of how it tastes, but the whole house is infused with the scent of lavender when making this. It's heavenly. There is something so wonderful about the combination of blueberries and lavender that I now can't get enough of.

Try drizzling the syrup over your favorite ice cream* with fresh blueberries. Pour a bit into a yummy fruit smoothie. Sweeten your iced tea with lavender syrup and a few mint leaves. I even made a non-alcoholic version with just sparkling water, lavender syrup, crushed mint leaves and fresh blueberries.

A friend of mine also told me she just made some blueberry lavender jam. Yum.

Blueberries are in abundance right now and this is a perfect way to use them. Cheers!

Blueberry Lavender Mojito
10-15 mint leaves
1 oz lavender simple syrup (recipe below)
1 oz fresh lime juice
15-20 blueberries
1.5 oz white rum (we may have used a teensy bit more, it's hard to be certain)
Club soda
In a tall glass muddle** the mint, lavender syrup, lime juice, blueberries and rum.  Be careful not to over-muddle.  Fill glass with crushed ice and top with club soda.

Lavender Syrup
1/4 cup organic dried lavender***
1/2 cup superfine sugar (you may also use agave or maple syrup as well)
1 cup water

Bring all ingredients to a boil on medium heat. Reduce heat and simmer for 8-10 minutes, until sugar is dissolved. Stir occasionally. Let cool. Use a sieve to strain the syrup into a sterilized and sealed container. Store in refrigerator.

Toast to a beautiful summer and enjoy.

~~~~~~~~

*There are many dairy-free ice creams out there. Some favorites of mine are Coconut Bliss, Rice Dream and Turtle Mountain.

** Here is a detailed video on muddling if you aren't sure what it is. Very informative but I confess that we used a wooden spoon to muddle ours... ahem.

*** Be sure to use culinary lavender only and not lavender from florist's or craft stores. Dried culinary lavender can usually found in places that sell herbs in bulk. If you grow your own, even better.

explosion of cuteness... and yumminess

taken by my Aunt Denise last week

Mia is exactly 3-months old today. Time is just speeding by. There are volumes I could write about what a sweet gentle happy soul she is who brings so much joy. I mean look at that face! ... and her baby smiles? *sigh*

These first few months adjusting as a foursome have been a continuous lesson in letting go, adapting, adjusting and wonder at how much our hearts are truly capable of expanding. But for today we will celebrate her 3-month birthday with fireworks on our deck and summery strawberry-basil aqua frescas in our bellies. Enjoy your holiday!

Strawberry-Basil Aqua Fresca: Combine in a blender plenty of fresh strawberries, a good handful of basil leaves, a bit of fresh mint, crushed ice and sweetener of your choice to taste(we are going to try some brown rice syrup and a bit of agave nectar). Blend. Pour. Garnish with strawberry and mint to make it pretty. Clink glasses and toast to something beautiful. Drink. Smile. Yum.

food as a journey

 

I decided to share a little of my (mostly) vegan journey today as inspired by Denise's latest vlog. I just love her veggie basket, don't you? She and I have different challenges on this path and she encouraged me to share mine as well. So, as luck would have it, both girls are sleeping at the same time and I found myself with a moment to share...

After giving birth to Isabella, I wrote a post about what happened to my body as a result of having gestational diabetes. At the time I had asked people if they wanted me to share what I did... and then I never followed up. While pregnant with Mia I again had gestational diabetes and even posted a vlog saying I would again share what I did... and then never followed up.

I kept wondering why I was resisting so much and I believe it's what I shared earlier... that I didn't wish to be the poster-child for gestational diabetes as a weight loss plan. Food is such a personal journey for each of us and who was I to say what I was doing was right or wrong for another person. I believe we each make decisions based on what we know at the time as well as what we are ready for.

Basically what I did on my first journey with GD was to eat five to six small meals a day. In each meal was 3 oz of protein combined with a vegetable. My protein of choice at the time was animal. Meat, dairy and veggies was basically what I ate. No sugar, No fruit, No carbs. No fun. But yes, I lost weight and was able to stablize my sugars so I didn't need to take insulin during pregnancy. I didn't think too much about it other than I thought I was doing the best I knew how at the time and my motivation both times was those two babies I was carrying. Believe me when I say had it not been for them, I would not have been able to sustain eating that way. It's not easy and was part of my resistance to sharing as a weight loss aid.

When I was told I had GD while pregnant with Mia, I came into with a different mindset. Even though it's difficult to sustain eating this way, I knew what to expect and had some tips and shortcuts so I felt at least prepared going into it this time around.

What I wasn't prepared for was the heart journey that would take place this time. I was starting to feel really bad. Not so much physically bad, although that was certainly part of it, but sick in my heart. I had been toying with the idea of going vegetarian since last year but kept finding myself saying "As soon as Mia arrives I will stop eating meat." I had this idea that there was no way I could alter my way of eating with GD, after all I needed the protein, right? This is what I kept telling myself.

When I was about 36 weeks pregnant with Mia, I happened to catch Alicia Silverstone on Oprah talking about her journey to becoming vegan and her book "The Kind Diet".

Her words and story resonated so deeply that I put Isabella in the car that day and drove to Barnes & Noble to get her book. I rarely do things like that (that's what Amazon.com is for) but I felt a sense of urgency about this. I purchased the book for me, and a fun children's book for Isabella, and we both came home and curled up for some reading time.

I read Alicia's book from cover to cover, soaking in every word, and knew so very clearly and from such a deep place in my heart that I was ready for change. She had me from the first page where she talks about the origin of the word diet from the 17th century: A way of living, or thinking. A day's journey.

This was something that spoke to me, something I could relate to. Somewhere along the path the definition of diet has become so negative and attached to words like deprivation, restriction, weight loss. I find myself and others shying away from the word diet because we believe it doesn't align with our spirits when really the word is simply based on a day's journey. Simple. Beautiful. Universal.

I knew eating meat and dairy wasn't the healthiest choice for our bodies or our planet, not to mention the horror of what the animals go through; this was not new information to me. Now that I was responsible for feeding two little girls, I really questioned where food comes from even more. Isabella sees a holistic pediatrician who educates me on the perils of dairy as well. And yes, I have read books, seen documentaries, etc., but we aren't ready for change until we are ready... I was choosing to turn the other way and still have my chicken and ice cream. I didn't give much thought to how those animals got into the packages at the grocery store

I had been a vegetarian before and then one day just felt like I had to have a lamb chop or something and would give up. Going vegan never felt like an option for me because I was one of those who could "never give up cheese". I chose to stay blind for a number of years because it felt comfortable for me. Food to me equated pleasure and why should I deprive myself of that pleasure was my reasoning at the time.

I think a lot of people share this view because it's what we know, it's what we are surrounded with in life, at restaurants, in social settings, on TV. A vegan lifestyle isn't widely accepted or supported it seems, although I will say it's easier today with so many more vegan and vegetarian food choices in restaurants and in stores like Whole Foods and at Farmer's Markets that do support eating this way.

So that day, reading her book, something about where I was on my journey and her words just clicked and I knew I was ready. I started eating kindly the next day. I was a bit nervous about this new way of eating being able to stabilze my blood sugars, but my mindset was that I could not wait for Mia to be born to rid my body of animal proteins and I would just wait and see how my blood sugar levels did.

As part of this new journey I was practically giddy as I strolled up and down the aisles at Whole Foods searching for ingredients I had never cooked with before. Whole Foods is my Disneyland. I gave our kitchen a sort of makeover and filled up shelves with beans, grains and nuts left out for display in pretty glass jars and tons of organic and farmer's market veggies. Jimmy always has herbs sitting in various glass jars in our kitchen so that just added to the magic. I was introduced to new ingredients like Brown Rice syrup, Ume vinegar, Mochi and lotus root. I started to fall madly in love with curly kale, collard greens and dandelion root.

After a couple of days I felt like this way of eating was aligned with my spirit. It felt so good and completely natural for me. As a former caterer and big time foodie, I feel now as if I have finally found my way with food although I have so much to learn about cooking vegan dishes. Early on my thoughts seemed clearer, I didn't feel as cranky as I had been (especially in my 9th month of pregnancy) and perhaps most surprising... my blood sugars were stabilized. No more highs and lows. In fact, I stopped checking my blood about a week before Mia arrived. I just knew I was okay and didn't need to prick myself with needles for the duration of the pregnancy. I felt... free.

And in case you are wondering, yes, I did lose the weight again. Though not all of it this time around and I'm quite wobbly in most places. I don't think I will ever know why my body responded to pregnancy the way it did. I don't think I will ever know if it was the way I was eating that changed my metabolism, the GD itself, breastfeeding, a healing release of my past history with pregnancy and being able to let go of the emotional weight that was attached to that or my relationship with food in general. We each have our own path's to discover in this area and my decision to not put out an e-book or document about what I did is to honor our own unique paths.

Of course, as with anything, this is a journey that holds no straight road. Each day brings new challenges. I don't call myself a vegan because I don't beat myself up on the rare occasion that cheese or salmon sushi come into my life. Part of being kind is realizing that it doesn't have to be all or nothing. I know now that it's about being kind to myself, to the animals and to the planet.

After almost 3 months of eating kindly I find I don't miss meat. Honestly, giving up meat was the easy part. I was more than ready. What I miss more than anything is cooking and eating with Jimmy. We fell in love over food over 12 years ago. The first meal he ever cooked for me was soft shell crab and he truly makes the best organic roast chicken you will ever put in your mouth. Sincerely.

This is where the journey lies before me now: How to still share that love of food and connection with my husband while maintaining what has now become a food philosphy for me. I now dream of planting a vegetable garden and one day taking Mia and Isabella to a place like the Gentle Barn so they can hug a cow and make their own decisions based on their own hearts and journeys. Whereas the combined dream used to be traveling the world to find the most perfectly succulent cooked duck and living our lives as the food adventurous couple.

And while Jimmy absolutely supports me and embraces my choices in this area (he even wants to raise our girls as vegetarians and was so excited to make me a seed salad last night) I know there has been a huge shift in our home and it's because of my choices. He still eats meat and I completely respect his choices. Although, there is a lot less meat happening around here and a he even loves vegan smoothies so I suppose I am influencing him in that way.

But the challenges are there. I miss opening a bottle of wine with Jimmy and cooking something heavy with cream and gooey with cheese and the smell of lamb roasted with rosemary. When I say this it's not the food so much I miss as the act. The romance. The experience. The connection that comes with sharing food or cooking for someone you love. Now it's about finding those same emotions with different recipes is all.

This is what my new journey is about, I am taking each day of this new way of living and of thinking as it comes.

thank*FULL

pomegranates ~ canon digital rebel xt

A few people asked what Jimmy and I made for Thanksgiving dinner since we are two people who love to cook. To answer that question is to know that Jimmy and I don't really follow holiday traditions. We are not really fond of traditional turkey dinners, we don't decorate for any holidays and when I first started this blog I wrote this post about why Christmas trees make me sad.

Having said that, Thanksgiving is my favorite holiday. It's a holiday surrounded by giving thanks and focused on food, friends and family. My favorite things.

Growing up, I remember my mom would always make her homemade cranberries  and applesauce with cinnamon, I had to have these two dishes every year, they were just so yummy. We had a pool table (made with purple felt, her favorite color) that transformed into a gorgeous table with a piece of plywood and fabric draped over it for my friends that my mom always let me invite for Thanksgiving dinner.

The years that Jimmy and I have shared Thanksgiving have ranged from the six course gourmet meal to the hot dog stand. I remember one year we attended a fancy dinner party where Jimmy made a corn consomme amuse bouche that was a first course which was supposed to serve 20 people but he ended up only having enough for 14. Oops.  We gave up our servings and luckily there was enough champagne flowing that the others weren't too upset.

A couple years back we met up with the majority of my family members in Las Vegas which found us drinking many bottles of wine on the rooftop of the Hilton hotel overlooking the view. Very non-traditional but an absolute blast. What happened that Thanksgiving most definitely stays in Vegas {wink}.

One of our most memorable was when we went to a friends church and cooked a Thanksgiving dinner for 200 homeless people here in Los Angeles. Jimmy didn't want to serve these people gravy out of a can, which was what we had to work with, so he scoured the church kitchen for the ingredients he needed to give them homemade gravy with their dinner. Every scrap was gone when we were done (people came back for seconds and thirds) and we ended up at LA's famous Pink's Hot Dog's that year for our own Thanksgiving feast. I am not a hot dog fan but it was a truly memorable day.

This year we find ourselves nesting. We wanted to be home and take these four days to make room for our baby girl in April,  rent some movies, and simply relax.

Since it was just the two of us we kept it simple:

Herb Roasted Chicken with pomegranate glaze
Celery Root and Roasted Garlic Mashed Potatoes
Haricots Vert
Warm Chocolate Cake with molton center, fresh berries & cream

For some of my friends who don't cook, I know they are laughing when I say this is simple, but it really is. We made the entire feast in under three hours with minimal effort. The time consuming part being the time the garlic and chicken are roasting in the oven.

For the chicken I encourage buying organic, I only purchase Rosie organic free range birds. I made an herbed garlic butter using a head of sweet roasted garlic, fresh sage, thyme and rosemary, softened butter and coarse salt all thrown in the food processor. A tip I have learned when roasting a chicken is if you do nothing else, to stuff the cavity with citrus. I chop up two organic lemons and they go straight into the cavity. This helps to keep the meat moist.

I simply massaged the chicken with the herbed butter, making sure there was plenty under the skin. Put the bird in a high heat oven which I lowered after about 20 minutes to cook for about an hour and a half, making sure to baste now and again to keep everything super juicy.

I wish I could tell you the temperature I cook at but I know all ovens are different and Jimmy and I cook in an oven with no temperature gauge. Sadly, we have done this for years. The one thing this has taught us is how to truly cook by intuition. I don't recommend this method, this is just how we work. Since my dream is to one day publish a cookbook, I know I need to work this part out, but I digress.

While the chicken was cooking I took a bottle of pomegranate juice and let it reduce down to a thick syrup to use as a glaze. I brushed it all over the chicken the last ten minutes of cooking which added a sweet, tartness that I will probably do from now on, it really added a nice touch. In fact, it was so good we almost cried as we finished the last bit of it today. I was thinking of using cranberry juice since it was the holidays (which you absolutely could) but I just love pomegranates. I am sure I will experiment more with other juices in the future.

Jimmy made one of his specialties, mashed celery root and roasted garlic potatoes. If you have never cooked with celery root before, please try it. It adds nice flavor to anything you use it with and is really high in fiber, vitamins B6, C and potassium. We like to pair celery root with Yukon gold potatoes but of course use what you have, or want. For this dish, he used four small Yukon's, one celery root, a head of roasted garlic, salt, pepper , butter and olive oil. Remember that celery root takes longer to cook than the potatoes so you either want to chop them smaller or put them in the boiling water first.

Basically boil the potatoes and celery root in salted water with a few peppercorns tossed in until tender, drain. Mash in a bowl with the luscious sweet roasted garlic, butter, olive oil, salt and pepper.  If you are vegan, just leave out the butter, it's really yummy.

For the green beans, I just tossed them with some olive oil and salt and roasted them in the oven alongside the chicken during the last 30 minutes. Easy and delicious.

We decided to completely indulge in dessert and made a molton chocolate cake made with dark chocolate, eggs and butter. I whipped a bit of cream and served with organic raspberries. Indulgent? Considerably. But it's the holidays and we are very thankful. It was super easy and 24 kinds of sinful deliciousness. If you want the recipe, leave a comment or email and I will send it off to you.

We then spent the remainder of the evening with full bellies, cuddled up in blankets on the couch, snuggled up with our kitty and watched movies by candlelight.

Hope your Thanksgiving was equally delicious.

clover & sage

my new business card ~ front and back

This is a very strange post for me to write, I have been sitting here for a while wondering where to start, so I am just going to start.

Last month I wrote a post about my friend's baby shower which I catered. I wrote that although I loved it, that I was in no way qualified to be a caterer. Well, somehow, one event turned into two, turned into seven and now it would seem I have found myself turning my passion into a career path.

I have started Clover & Sage, a creative and organic approach to catering.

Catering is not something I ever thought I would do, it's not exactly like cooking dinner for friends at home, but I seem to have a somewhat natural approach to it, have found I am pretty good at it (though I still have a lot to learn), and the best part: I. LOVE. IT.

I get to connect with people through their tastebuds, make people happy, be creative (menu design is so much fun for me) work for myself, work with food, read about food, shop for food, learn about food, teach others about food, live and breathe food and work with clients to create something hopefully wonderful, yummy and special for their event. It's my dream job. I am not in any way saying it's easy ~ it's exhausting work ~ but it's so very rewarding for me at the same time.

This is blowing my mind for a few reasons and I have to try and explain why...

~ When Denise and I went to see the psychic in February she said something to me that I can no longer ignore. She gently told me that I would remain in a healing phase until around the time of my birthday and then an unexpected career path would present itself and I would follow this path successfully for the next 18 years of my life. She told me it wasn't the career path I was expecting and around my birthday it would be revealed.

~ I catered my first baby shower for my dear friend, Dianna, as both a gift to her and a distraction for myself, having lost my second pregnancy in December. Her shower was June 23rd. Nine days before my birthday.

~ During this time I was also offered a big time corporate dream job with the company I have been employed with for the past couple years that came with a bigger paycheck, growth and advancement and would have me once again working in the film industry, an industry I am quite familiar with. The catch? Well, it's a corporate job where I would be chained to a desk 8+ hours a day with an hour commute which meant giving up working from home. Two years ago I would have  jumped on it.  Today, in this moment, I am a different person with different priorities. Do I take the safe, fancy corporate job, or do I take a giant leap of faith and follow my dream of being a business owner at long last? The choice actually wasn't that easy for me, I struggled, but once I made the decision and decided to commit to it, everything felt so right and started to fall into place. I had heard the universe screaming at me for a while and the moment I made the decision, things became, I don't know, calmer and more peaceful somehow, albeit insanely busy. That is the only way I can think to describe it at this moment. Almost instantly opportunities began to open up and people (angels) started to appear on my path to help me.

~ I have had both a psychic and a channeler tell me that close to forty years of age the artist inside me would be ready, and eager, to emerge. The channeler told me he saw me writing in a cabin in the woods. The psychic told me that while she couldn't pinpoint the career, she saw creativity, teaching and inspiration. They both told me that my 40th would be my year to shine and it would all come together. I don't know what to think of all this exactly because they also both said things that didn't happen, but I am choosing to see the light in the message and explore where this journey leads me. Oh, they also both told me that children are present in my life. Two to be exact.

~ Speaking of two. Its a number that has always held great significance for me. In addition to being one of two of my favorite numbers (my other favorite number is 11), I was born on the second day of the month. I married my husband on the second day of the month. We dated for two years before he proposed marriage. We were engaged for another two years before we walked down the aisle. Jimmy and I talked for years about opening a restaurant together called Indeuces where everything would be served in deuces for two (or more) people to share. At this point in my life I have lost two pregnancies. Clover & Sage is comprised of two words. Both of these words represent herbs. One represents the sweet and one the savory. They also represent the natural, and organic vision of my business. They are also the names  I chose for my  two little souls. This new venture is for them, Clover and Sage, as well as the future children we shall one day have.

Both pregnancies, while short-lived,  brought me so much joy and even though I couldn't keep them, so much of the beautiful and positive change in my life would not be happening were it not for them ~ this new career path, the ways they have changed me as a person, as a future mother and, of course, the beautiful souls I have been connected to as I continue on this amazing journey.  I can't help but remain grateful. You inspire me and keep me lifted. Thank you.

If I could come cook for all of you, I would.

happy tummy

tomato and mussel starter with grilled fig salad in the background

I realize that while no one may care what I had for lunch, I simply must write about what I ate for dinner. I may be the caterer in our little household and enjoy making 175 individual tartlets for a party, but Jimmy is a true artist when it comes to answering the age old question, "What should we make for dinner?"

Jimmy cooks when he is inspired and today was my lucky day. Earlier in the afternoon he had been reading this book (thanks, Kev) and I could practically see the idea~bulbs appearing above his head. Next thing I knew he was off to the store to prepare his culinary artist palette.

Jimmy is a true artist in the kitchen because he uses cookbooks for inspiration, not for recipes. He will look at a photo or see an interesting ingredient and then he's off to the races, creating solely from the heart, and tummy. However, the thing about him not using recipes is that it's hard for him to recreate something truly divine. He calls what he does in the kitchen "happy accidents".  I call them genius.

He sometimes likes to surprise me with his dishes, and needs space to create in our one-booty kitchen, so when inspiration hits he might pour me a glass of wine and send me on my way which was the case this evening. The result of which is me spending the entire meal having him walk me through each step anyway so we may keep some sort of record of what he did to explain my dancing tastebuds. Not that I am complaining, there is nothing like a man who can cook.

For a starter he constructed a yellow and orange tomato salad topped with a little grilled red onion, mussels steamed on our indoor cast iron grill and dressed with olive oil he infused with basil & mint.

He then made a salad which I believe to be my new most favorite salad in the world. He grilled figs to bring out their yum and combined them with spiced pecans (he spiced them with cumin, coriander, ancho chile and a bit of brown sugar and then toasted them) nestled on a bed of arugula, topped with shavings of nutty and smooth manchego cheese and simply dressed with the basil and mint oil emulsified with a bit of fresh lemon juice and sea salt. Oh. My. God. The marriage of layered flavors in this salad are so perfectly balanced it was like a song.

The ingredient which inspired this particular feast was Kabocha squash. Probably a little too early in the season still, but readily available year round, Kabocha squash is similar to butternut squash but sweeter. It looked to me as if the hardest part was cutting the skin off, but the results were worth it. For our third and final course, he tossed the squash slices with olive oil and sea salt, caramelized them on the grill along with some onion and fennel, and grilled a healthy fillet of black cod to absolute perfection as their chaperon. As I write this I have a full belly and a happy heart.

I hope this inspires a bit of kitchen play in your home.

UPDATE: Jimmy asked me to add that if you do try this, he used molasses in the olive oil and sea salt toss for the squash to further caramelize the veggies. He did this first so by the time he grilled the fish, mussels, other veggies and figs, they were essentially cooked in this wonderful lusciousness of flavor given off by the squash, molasses and seasonings.