new directions ~ canon digital rebel xt
i write this bundled up in blankets, a box of tissues nestled close by my side and my thoughts running in a million directions. so please, excuse the foggy dialogue. i picked up a nasty cold last week while in texas and while i will go on record to say that being sick while pregnant is no picnic, i have witnessed great kindness as 2007 came to a close.
truth be told, the funniest part of our austin trip was that we never even made it to austin. we missed our outgoing flight (due to a gate mixup ~ and flights being ridiculously oversold) and flew out two days later where we traveled straight to jimmy's parent's for christmas, who are in southern texas.
while enjoying ourselves in jimmy's childhood home, jimmy's mother, sister, and four of the comadres held a baby shower for me the day after christmas. thirty members of their tribe, the majority of whom i have never met, showed up to shower me with congratulations and gifts for the newest de la Rosa tribe member. can you imagine thirty strangers happily showing up to celebrate the arrival of your new baby? in a way, i suppose it's not unlike what happens here in our blogging community except for that reading someones thoughts and words does connect you without physically meeting. all these people know of me is that i am married to jimmy, their comadre's son. i was overwhelmed by their kindness. overwhelmed. southern hospitality is certainly unlike that which is found in southern california, that is for sure.
after saying our goodbyes, we drove to stay with our friends who live in lake travis ~ located just outside austin. jimmy and i threw a dinner party for some friends and i caught my icky bug right after that. it's been a nasty one that just won't go away, and i spent my final few days in texas bundled up in blankets in bed, never once making it to austin. i will say being pregnant while sick has a few advantages: i have been pampered the entire time by our friends with warm baths, plenty of back massages, hdtv, tons of juices and teas, hugs and jimmy's famous healing chicken soup once we arrived home. i know, i know, enjoy it now because it won't be like this once the baby arrives. {wink}
during this time, i had plenty of moments to contemplate some of what i wish to accomplish this new year. to be sure, 2007 was a year of huge transition, growth and healing for me which brought many blessings as well. i want to give thanks to 2007 for further opening up this amazing blogging community to me, which i believe has saved me in many ways. i have been blessed with new, powerful soul friendships through blogging as well as deepening those close friendships that i had prior to blogging. i started a business in 2007 (a lifelong dream) and happily discovered in july that i was blessed with my third pregnancy. the one pregnancy that looks as if might just result in our first child, a gift i am blissfully thankful for each day.
as i was counting my blessings as 2007 was coming to a close, i realized that i want to manifest more of this goodness for 2008. here is where things get tricky because i am also starting to realize that to manifest certain dreams to come into our lives, we sometimes need to let go, and close some doors on some other areas to allow those new dreams to flourish.
as a soon-to-be new mom (one of these days i will be able to write that without freaking out), one of the ways i hope to teach our child is by example. my wish is not for her to do as i say, not as i do. my wish is for her to see her parents living their dreams so that she will truly know she can accomplish whatever it is she sets her mind to, and to know her dreams will be supported by us. i believe she is lucky because she will be raised by two people who are in a very loving, respectful relationship. but i also want her to know that she has a pretty artsy, creative mama (and papa) and while i feel there are many years i let the artistic, creative side of me fall by the wayside, it would break my heart for her to think that her mama never did anything to remedy that.
all this to say, i feel this is the time to start paying attention to the new directions that are calling out to me. there is some new, positive change and growth that i am working towards for 2008 and beyond.
one is the new direction of clover & sage.
catering has been really amazing for me and has allowed me to understand that i can excel creatively when i put my mind to it. designing menus, making people swoon when they taste my food, and helping to create successful events helps me to understand that it is about finding meaningful work and that life truly is too short not to do what you love.
i used to struggle thinking that "meaningful work" was about saving the world, or finding cures for diseases, therefore already thinking i would never be good enough and had already failed. that is until i realized, as my oh-so-wise friend michelle once stated, "the world needs your voice and your vision". now i clearly see that finding meaningful work is about making your heart sing, following your inner passions, sharing your vision with the world, and touching someone's life with what you do. we all have this inside us and it is our job to discover it, nurture it and see it to fruition, whatever your it may be.
while catering has been amazing for me, jimmy and i have decided to work together to take the vision of this business in an entirely new direction. our dream has always been to work with food in some capacity and we realized early one morning a couple months ago that we both saw clover & sage as a brand, a label to bring our vision and love of natural, artisanal food into the world. around november, we started to work with a distributor and are now set to soft launch some artisanal, organic salts as a sort of test run and to get some feedback. that is what those photos above are all about, we have been busy bees around here.
from there, our goal is to play with some infused salts, herbs and non-perishable items, eventually moving into perishable items (an organic baby food line?) and since we are grabbing the brass ring with this one, an eventual clover & sage cookbook. because i can clearly visualize all of this, i am booking a few sessions with a life coach to keep me on track, accountable and hopefully talk me off the ledge and quiet that voice when need be. you know that voice, the one that says things like, "are you high? who do you think you are trying to take on something so huge? those types of dreams are for others, not you." it's time to ban that voice.
there will be a website coming soon where we will have an online store, share recipes, a newsletter, giving back to the community, etc. all under the clover & sage label. there will also be a blog.
which brings me to this blog and closing a big door.
i started schmoopy on a whim. it was/is a much needed outlet which soon turned into a way for me to excavate the creativity that was itching to get out of me as well as became my therapy. so much has happened personally since i started writing here two years ago, and as all things in life, new roads begin to open and life happens.
the thing is, schmoopy no longer seems the right place to chronicle the next chapter of my life ~ motherhood.
because my wish is to chronicle both the early years of my daughter's life along with the re-birth of my own creativity, i feel like it belongs in a brand new space, one that is dedicated to focusing on being both a mother and a woman and all the twists and turns that are sure to come along with the journey. i am afraid this space just doesn't feel like the right home for this next chapter.
so, it is with all of this, and with many mixed emotions, that i will
soon be closing the familiar door here that is schmoopy and spreading
my wings into the great unknown. it's been an amazing ride.
while clover & sage is something jimmy and will be exploring together, i realize i still need my own creative outlet which is where my etsy store comes into focus. yes, i realize that i am insane by launching two new projects and raising a newborn, but the timing also seems so right and meant to be. my expectation for all of this is not perfectionism in these pursuits, it's more about the journey. my goal for 2008 is to be in a place with both of these pursuits to financially be able to leave the corporate world forever and once and for all be my own creative boss.
my etsy boutique will be called sweet jane studio which will be my little area of the internet to share my designs with the world. it won't be fully open until the summer time as there is a lot of work to still be done, but part of my new blog will also be chronicling the launching of a new business since i know part of the fear of launching a new project for many of us is actually making that first scary leap off the cliff. especially with a baby in your arms, but still knowing that somehow the net will appear.
of course now the fear has shifted. for me, the fear is no longer about taking the leap, but what happens if i don't take the leap. where will that leave me? that thought is far more scary to me. perhaps getting to that place is the first step to finding your wings.
but i will say this leap is due to those of you who already have already found your wings and have opened successful etsy businesses, or any business, of your own. you are all my glitter-filled muses. being surrounded by creative kindreds makes it easier to see the net and find my wings. so to those of you ~ you know who you are ~ thank you. you are my daily inspiration.
we still are determining a launch date for the clover & sage website; however, my new creative mama blog (name still tbd) will debut march 1. because i need this precious time to get to work, there will no longer be long, meandering posts written here. however, i did want to use the last couple months here to leave on a graceful, inspirational note.
my beautiful friend jen, sent me the most lovely quote book last year simply and profoundly titled, be.
as often as i can, i will post a quote from the book (along with a photo taken with my new bad ass christmas lens) as a way for you and i both to keep that inspiration flowing for an unbelievable 2008.
here is the first:
be proactive:
"whatever you are meant to do, move toward it and it will come to you."
~ Gloria Dunn
happy new year ~ may all your dreams come true in 2008.